I just woke up from falling asleep.
and I have undone holiday homework which is due tomorrow.
hahahaha.

anyway school was a real fag today.

okay, no more vulgarities.
sorry mrs toh ):

I've been swearing a lil' too much.

anyway, I got owned by alot of teachers today.
haha who ask me procasinate so much.
and PI sucks.

but I still like school all the same :)

anyway, going home with someone made my day :D
yay.

Tonight i'm sending you a message,
This is the end of an era,
The end of second chances.

In the face of defeat,
I'm winning.
Yet you still have so much left to say.

I'm just another promise you couldn't keep.

):

I don't want to bitch about my life all the time but something happened today that actually spoiled my day.
shalln't talk about it here, but it really pissed me off alot.
like ALOT.

I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired.

I'm scared of all the bullshit thats gonna come.
I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared.

I'm scared of everything.
I'm always scared of everything.

These uncertainties just wear me off so much.

I'm scared of making mistakes.
I'm scared of making those mistakes.
I'm scared of making those same mistakes.

kayaking was screwed up.
attempted to take photos in the process but it didn't turn out quite the way I wanted to.
and I almost lost my phone in the process.

I just discovered I have no stamina at all.

Loads of work to clear.
sian.

A Million Panics (MEGAPANIC)

get the joke, yes no?
haha.

summary.

A) I'm blogging here now cause its a chain of lectures tomorrow.
which actually means no tutorials! (no homework lah. lol. heehe.)

B) Happy 51st Birthday Mum.

C) I miss you. alot. ):

D) The only tutorial I have tomorrow is actually chinese.
And I still havn't started on my compo which was due 3 weeks ago.
(pain in the ass much)

E) My current chinese teacher is my 4th chinese teacher for the year.

anyway,

1) School is seriously getting fucked up. haha. seriously.
2) Of course, 24/10 is good company. heehe. helps get me past each day.
3) I can't do thermal physics.
4) Admin department is seriously damm screwed up. have to put things back into place.
5) I havn't practiced guitar for the past 2 weeks.
6) datelines.datelines.datelines.
7) I can't keep up with the syllabus. especially geog, physics and maths. (that essentially means all my subjects except for chem. lol) haha got kick.
8) hope everything turns out well :)

I) Kayaking this saturday!
II) CIP On Sunday. Not very keen on it but I HAVE TO DO SOME CIP. YES I'M DESPO.
III) Don't think I'll have time to clear up my homework.

IV) That chinese essay is still a pain in the ass.

kay bye.

the laptop is a very good distraction.

"For all the sad words of tounge or pen, the saddest are these; it might have been."

Recruits camp 2010.

This camp has left me feeling like crap.
Feel very very helpess about things.

they see the bigger picture, not me.
wished I could have done more.
should have expected that there wasn't much that I could do in the first place.

A few lessons that I should really keep with me.

1) Even though man was made in the image of God, and BB officers are men, we are not God-like.
even officers need support sometimes.

2) It is being firm that counts, not being fierce.

makes me feel like I'm very very childish.
I have a long way to go.
I have much more to learn.

I'm glad that I'm given this chance to learn. this wake-up call has really really helped open my eyes.

The concept of servant leadership is again, apparant.

I'm not used to doing things the 'officer' way.
maybe becaue i'm too childish in my thinking.

I should calm down.

I should stop talking so much and start reflecting more.

Though emotionally and physically drained from this camp, i'm suprised that I am actually spiritually renewed.

New batch of leaders took over today.
I'm officially enrolled into the company as an officer as well.
hope everything turns out well.

I just feel sad for some people.
they deserved more.

I should start listening to more gospel music.

oh well, work harder limpin!

this is getting out of hand.

conclusion.
don't fucking trust anyone anymore, no matter how much you want to.
no more heart to heart talks, no more truth or dares.
no more admitting things

I hope this doesn't screw my life up.
and I hope my life doesn't get screwed up.

gahhhh.

this sucks.
I don't want to write like this anymore.

Ainoooo.

Hello Aino :)

March Holidays.

Not break time!

Sat - Parade (BB)
Sun - BB week collection
Mon - free ^^ setting it aside for PW
Tue - Chemistry lesson + CG BBQ/outing
Wed - Guitar.
Thu - BB HQ
Fri - Recruits Camp '10
Sat - Recruits Camp '10
Sun - Enrolment Service 2010

homework, revision, exercise not included.

I'm off.

Passion.Purpose.Drive

Time to reflect.

Anyway fast forward almost a decade later, this day never fails to make me think about the purpose of teaching. Whether you like it or not, the A Levels is but a step to university and to an eventual degree. The A Level certificate itself has little value. It is therefore very traumatising for anyone not to do well enough to qualify for university. It's not the end of the world though - I know someone who got a D for A Level Geog and is now a successful academic pursuing a Phd in Geography, winning many accolades and awards along the way. Sadly, such cases are few and far between. Students who don't do well in A levels can do an overseas degree I suppose, provided financing is not a problem. There are a few other options too, but not too many I guess.

The purpose of this reflection is in defining what and how I teach. I used to think that drilling for exams and teaching for the purpose of scoring well was not the best pedagogical philosophy in the profession. Over the past 2 years, I've kind of grown in my admiration for these kind of teachers. One just told me today that it doesn't matter whether students hate or like you, or whether they even appreciate you - our job is to give them the best chance of getting into university and as long as we do that our conscience is clear. Another person told me of what use is holistic development, character development, CCA awards etc when the student doesn't make it into uni let alone a course of choice. Ideally we should stretch all our students, but not everyone can be stretched in so many directions. For those with a limited capacity - what do we prioritise more? Grades? Holistic development? Tough choice.

Because I never had to see a classmate cry during my time - I don't really know how to deal with it today as a teacher. What do you say to the very few who don't make it? Do we then teach for understanding? Or teach to maximise grades? (granted that the good students will be able to achieve both - but how about those slightly behind?) How is the teacher going to face the student or worse, parent of someone who came in with a low O level L1R5 score and doesn't quite fulfil his/her expectations at the A levels?

Teachers who drill and teach for exams often come under criticism. These are the same teachers who make students do extra work, set extra exams, conduct extra make-up lessons - things are students hate. But at the end of the day, especially at the end of today - these are the teachers whom students want to thank the most.

I suppose as a teacher - one is bound to have students who don't perform or have freak results, regardless of effort put in by both the teacher and student. This is the unfortunate part of the job. But for the rest, I guess what's most important is that during this day next year and in the years to come - I will not have any regrets or "what if I had done this instead" moments when I see the kids coming back to await their results.

Makes me think.
What would I want if I were to become a teacher?

After thinking about it, I'm starting to get scared.

Equilibria.

Lots of things happened.
Hmm.

Shall start with running.
I discovered why I run so slowly.
Not because I suck, but because of my feet.
No one actually spotted that until martin came along.
HAHA THANK YOU.

If someone spotted my flaw earlier, everything would have been different.

I'm still thinking about Many Worlds.

I havn't touched my guitar since last wednesday.
shit.

You know, today was supposed to be a half day because of the good alevel results.
but still, I had extra maths lesson at 2.20 when school ended at 12.30.
kinda wasted but oh well.

slept on bus 87 on the way back home and when I woke up I was at SengKang.
shitz haha had to take another bus home.

I can't catch up with maths.
Its wierd cause I forgot this feeling of helplessness.
haha.

Something happened that kinda made me sad.

I went opposite school for lunch with 24/10 and after we sat down, this auntie came to ask if we wanted to order drinks.

I told her "later".

She came a second time.
I told her "later" again.

She came a third time.
I told her "later", again.

but I think I kinda sounded pissed when she came that third time.
han ren, dylan and martin looked so stunned then.
The auntie was stunned too, and she walked away.
sian I knew I "did it again".

I didn't mean to sound aggressive you know. ):

It seems as if as its a tradeoff.
Either I compromise my feelings or people get hurt.

Its like..
I'm no longer that sensitive and I'm not ashamed to admit that I am actually happier now.
But still, it seems as if as I'm hurting a whole lot more people these days.
or am I still sensitive, but my character has gone haywire?

oh well.

For people who don't see the link, forget that you saw this.

Anyway, I have undone homework.
Whatever.

I'm so gonna fail maths.
I'm not going to.

Oh how I miss someone to hold, when hope begins to fade.

Avenged Sevenfold - Dear God

Avenged Sevenfold | MySpace Music Videos

The music video shows some parts of the bands live shows, some footage of the band backstage and also footage of the band playing the song in a studio set and on their tour bus in the form of a real-life video (much like the video for the bands' single Unholy Confessions) as it shows some of the bands partners. The video faded the audio out of the song several seconds after the vocals of the song ended, therefore shortening the length of the song from its' original 6:33 span.

The late Jimmy "the Rev" Sullivan wrote the lyrics to this song.

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
’Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
and all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
’Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
when hope begins to fade...

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
’Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again.

2002.

異靈靈異
Nice Movie.
Not exactly great, but its okay if you are watching it to pass the time.

Makes me sad.
Both the movie and theme song makes me sad.

The ending was crap.

A lot of stuff to do. D:

GP/PW, Chinese, Maths, Physics, Chemistry.
In summary, I have homework for every subject.
And I'm kindof left with only 3 hours to finish before slumber mode automatically activates itself.

oh well. ):
Bye.

(Reminder: BE POSITIVE, AND STAY SO! >D )

"Go home and POYO lah"

Hello.
I'm actually quite tired now but shall do a quick one.

went to YJC's fun fair last week.
haha wasted my time.
so because of that, I didn't do all my tutorials.

so the week was spent catching up with tutorials, meeting datelines, sleep deprived days.
oh well.

havn't done anything today either.

went back for BB. LOL.
HQ made alot of changes to the framework.
very happy that they're actually deciding to do something to salvage the situation now.

oh well.
shalln't elaborate more.

NEXT WEEK IS MARCH HOLIDAYS! ^^

World behind my wall.

Shall update soon.



it's raining today
the blinds are shut it's always the same
i tried all of the games that they play
but they made me insane

life on TV
it's random it means nothing me
writing down what i cannot see
wanna wake up in a dream

whoah whoah
they're telling me it's beautiful
i believe them but will i ever know
the world behind my wall?

trains in the sky
are traveling through fragments of time
they're taking me to parts of my mind
that no one can find

i'm ready to fall
i'm ready to crawl on my knees to know it all
i'm ready to heal
i'm ready to feel

whoah whoah
the sun will shine like never before
one day i will be ready to go

see the world behind my wall.

see the world behind my...
i'm ready to fall
i'm ready to crawl on my knees to know it all
i'm ready to heal
i'm ready to feel

take me there.

whoah whoah
they're telling me it's beautiful
i believe them but will i never know
the world behind my wall

whoah whoah
the sun will shine like never before
one day i will be ready to go
see the world behind my wall