GP paper today.

I'm really hoping i can pass, but I won't be too disappointed if i don't

But still, I believe I can pass! haha!
Hebrews 11:1!

anyway, after gp paper, went home with the 3 touch rug peeps.
and we gossiped a lot.
then we talked and suddenly they started digging up dirt from the past.
yeah they were mistakes and i do feel sad about making them, I'm a changed man. (LOL)

or am I not?

I'm sort of confused now though.
I don't know how to express this weird feeling.

anyway, this made me realise that I'm not that goood afterall.
and I have lots of things to improve on.

I realised that I shouldn't forget the past.
Not forgetting the past would let me realise how far I have improved,
and much much further I can actually go.
and this shall serve as my motivation.

come'on come'on.

I wondered what happened when you offered yourself to someone, and they opened you, only to discover you were not the gift they expected and they had to smile and nod and say thank you all the same.

When someone dies, it feels like the hole in your gum when a tooth falls out. You can chew, you can eat, you have plenty of other teeth, but your tongue keeps going back to that empty place, where all the nerve endings are still a little raw.

I NEED TO FOCUS.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when i'm awake, you know?

I need inspiration.

I need Your strength and wisdom.

Whats your action plan?

Its raining now.

Let me pen down/write out type out whatever I have before it slips me again.

it has been some time since i last updated.. haha.

anyway its wednesday of the last week of the holidays already.
I have barely started on revision. haha.

oh, there a difference between a asylum seeker and a refugee.

anyway Youth Leadership Congress was great!
Learnt a lot from everyone.
Differnt characters, different leadership styles.

New friends: Aloysius and John from 9th COY (Westwood Sec) and Wen Yang from 21st (Geylang Methodist Sec).
haha they're a funny bunch.
got to know Aloysius and John on the bus to NUS hahahaha.
Wen Yang knows YingZhi O.O

Saw Muthi, Roy and ShiWei from 19th COY, Yishun town sec.
Got to know them because of SYF OC in June 2008.
haha its really 2 years ago. makes me feel old.

turns out muthi is at AJC! haha.
PCME 4 H2 haha.

Saw some people from LDC II 202 2008 as well.
Andrew and Weixiang, 26th COY Tanglin Sec,
Bryan from 54th Bukit Batok Sec
And of course, the guys from 2nd COY Victoria School.
Timothy Tay and his friends haha.
Tim tay's is in MJC haha.

Also got to know Kim Leong!
haha he's one special guy.
haha he's from 65th COY Hong Kah Sec,
same LDC batch as me! haha.
too bad I wasn't in the same company as him during the camp haha.

was hoping I could work with more people but its alright.
there's still camp temasek. haha.

I was made to take charge of Group 9, comprising of 19 (originally 21) Boys.
haha.
from 73rd 79th 82nd 87th COY.
They're a mischievious bunch but haha at least they listen to me :)
Hope they've learnt something from the congress and can serve back at their companies.
Their companies didn't send any primers, and I didn't have any boys from my own company, so they made me take charge of them.
Honestly, its a relatively big group (ratio of almost 1:20 primer to boys, when there were group with ratio of 1:3 primer to boys. lol 4 primers for 12 boys and they know each other since they're from the same company.)
But I should give myself a pat on my back.
did it relatively well I guess.
first day was very chaotic though haha.

Was the facilitator for WWF 6 as well.
had 3 of the boys from 79th COY with me, as well as this boy called yi xun from 66th COY.
he's damn pro, know how to play guitar, violin and he has a diploma in pianooo zzomggg.
nice working with them. (even though our project turned out quite sucky because of some reasons ]: )
haha.

anyway, HQ invited Ms Penny Low and Mr Teo Ser Luck to speak and I learnt a lot from it.
Mr Teo's speech was exceptionally inspiring.

Dr. Ho, vice-dean of the business school and chairman of the organising committee of the congress, also spoke to us.
He's been in the brigade for 30 years already and has been teaching for 20 plus years and I'm surprised he is still so passionate about educating people.
He really makes me respect him.
chrismatic speaker, caring man, composed leader.

Nowadays Professors teach very little. Its not because we are lazy, its because we're not supposed to. Our job as educators, is not to regurgitate content. It is not. It is to make students excited, so that they will read up more on their own. They learn more, we teach less, they benefit more, it makes our job easier as well.

I found out that after working with Sir Jason from 94th COY for LDC II,
I became more comfortable with facilitating.
haha yay.

Anyway, Watched A Team with the PCME idiots on monday.
haha i was very impressed with the movie. :)
so excitingggg.

"Gandi wasn't afraid to fight for what he believed in.

Am I ready to fight for what I believe in?
Am I ready to work for what I want?

I'm not sure.

We'll see :)

arms aching. ouch.

pokemonnnn ^^

I must pass JCTs!
but I have been very unproductive ):

Camp Temasek General meeting @ BBHQ later at 1930!
haha excitedd.

孩子。树

I've been searching for this movie for a very long time.

I remembered watching it once when I was young,
but I forgot the title.

I liked it quite a lot, but sadly it production cost was S$1.3 million but box office was only S$720,000.

haha but anyway enjoy.
Now that I know the title, I'll rent the movie.
maybe after A'levels? haha.

the english title of this movie reminds me of someone. hahahaha.
the treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee <3 :D

There's still one more movie that I've been searching for almost 6 years now.
No leads, I guess.

this is a song about love, gone terribly wrong.

Getting high on the OLD Paramore.

I want to go to Franklin.

leadership.

I'm wide awake now, 3.53 am.

and i'm done with filing for only physics.

anyway, the 09/10 guitar exco released the results for the 10/11 exco.

Chairman: Ridhwan B Mohamed Jamil
Vice-chairman: Tan Jia Jun, James
Secretary: Lorraine Tan Si Jin
Treasurer: Low Yen Peng
Quartermasters:
Lim Pin
Yu Shenghong
Student Instructors:
Poh Hou Sheng
Peh Kah Qi Elizabeth
Tan Hai Shan
Muhammad Faiz Ikhsan
Nadia Ingrida
Abigail Yeo Zhi Hui

I am the quarter master.
quite surprised actually because I didn't run for this post but yet they still put me there.

I don't mind it actually.
As long as the group functions well and the ultimate goal is reached, iot doesn't really matter what position I take up.

However, a question poped into my head just now.
What are my motivations behind leadership?
Why do I want to serve and lead so badly?

for myself, for others?
for my values, for my memories?

I don't really know why.
I don't even have the answer as to why i want to return to 48th to help out.

Time to think through things.

Maybe I should reattend LDC II? haha.

but before I can find the answer to this question,
I must make sure I pass my JCTs!
if not i'll be suspended and i won't get my answer. (or rather I won't need to? haha)

okay I'm running 5km on no sleep later yay wish me luck.

Braveheart.

Hello.
Havn't been writing here for some time.
didn't have the mood and time to do so anyway.

LDC II 201 was great!
There were 3 Companies- namely Braveheart, Gladiator and Patroit, and I was trainer in charge of the Bravehearts.

I got a shock because I was the only helper from 48th there.
walaoo damn stressful because I was the most junior there haha.

The boys were one of the most creative bunch of people I've seen.
LOL as seen from their cheering, that is.

It was nice working with Sir Jason and Sir Kwang Yang from 94th Nan Hua Sec.
Learnt a lot from them!

Worked with RSM CLT Gerald Poh from 84th Unity Sec as well!
Both him and Sir Jason are good at handling people.
haha Gerald's Captain is Sir Han Yang, my OC for my LDC II 2 years back haha.

I actually wanted to be the RSM but Gerald did a good job!
haha better than I would have.
Yup QM was definitely a heavy responsibility for me. haha.

have a lot to learn.
I have to define my own style and be more firm.

What can I say.
Nothing much has changed I guessed. haha.
ACS 12I is still as 'confident' loll.
Sir William from 26th, my CC from LDC II 2 years back, is still as 'calm' as ever hahaha.

learnt a lot of them.
and from the boys as well.

Though the performance of some boys were disappointing. lol
2 best trainees from 84th, last one from 26th. none from 48th. oh well.
The one from 26th is damn good. haha.

I still remember how the 3 of us from 48th were the 3 best trainees from the course!
haha I still have the cert!

Anyway, I know that God will be with everyone of us as we go back to each of our respective companies to serve.

Amen!

Monday and Tuesday was spent on pw.
Super tired.

spent the whole day at home on wednesday.
could get a good rest. (sigh yeah finally)

Met up with Christine Tan yesterday!
haha Frost was damn nice :D

woke up at 12pm today.
lol die I havn't started anything till now.

Time is running out!
haha jyjy!

Busy with BB stuff again this weekend.

Parade tomorrow,
YLC Training session on Sunday!

haha jyjy.
Don't procasinate anymore haha.

To remember who I really am.

We make the sun shine, we make come on
Move with me. Move with me.
Move with me. Move with me.

Don't you think I could tell that you were trying to, trying to
Make a fool out of me. a fool out of me.
Don't you think I could tell that you were trying to, trying to
Make a fool out of me. a fool out of me.

To remember who you really are.

It's so easy to get lost in constantly having to present
whatever face you believe a person wants to see rather than your own.

Yet we hesitate to surrender all of our insecurities
Move with me. Move with me.
Only the ones we are most comfortable relinquishing
Move with me. Move with me.

Don't you think I could tell that you were trying to, trying to
Make a fool out of me. a fool out of me.
Don't you think I could tell that you were trying to, trying to
Make a fool out of me. a fool out of me.

Such a paradox,
Isn't it, isn't it?

This song makes me sad.
haha.

Away for LDC II 201.
5 to 6 June 2010.

and when I get back, I hope things will work themselves out.

Ice cream.

I feel so lazy and I don't wanna do anything.
haha I want my sleeeppppp.

Ignore the title for this post.
have a craving for it hahaha.

Went out with some peeps from 24/10 on friday to watch a movie.
I wanted more sleep but didn't want to stay home and rot at the same time. haha.

Anyway we watched sherk 4ever after.
The movie kinda surprised me a little.
didn't expect that much from it.
Its my first movie this year. haha.
LOL i still remember VIVI. haha *QUACK*

Oh it was the day after I camped at macs with dylan till 3.30am.

Went back to school for the past three days.
haha lessons lessons lessons.
and pw too.
oh well. :)

Monday was theen yew's farewell.
He's a great guy.

Chem lecture after that was crap though.

TJAmbassador on Tuesday morning.
Had to reach school at 0745 haha that made me damm tired.
Geog lecture later on.
blah blah blah.
OH I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD THE HISTORY OF PLATE TECTONICS LOL.

Music Box Concert was later on at night.
It was at 1930 and geog lecture ended at around 1430 so I had nothing to do for 5 hours.
haha so I slacked in school with Joshua and lejing and we just talked?
yeah lots of crap HAHA.

Anyway the concert was okay I guess.
I'm quite neutral about it haha.
If they had it like a gig it'll be better. LOL everyone will go high hahaha.
The first and last band were the ones i liked the most. haha

Yesterday was GP lesson.
0900 to 1300++. lol 4 hours.
I didn't sleep yay.
Lots of work to do for GP.
haha I kinda of like the subject.

Went for lunch aka PW discussion.
then my haircut. (lol I know its short.)
Went off to the airport later on to send the historians off.
haha have a happy and safe trip over at new york!

saw sheng kai and kenneth at the airport and i went off with them.
haha stayed at Popeyes with them for a while.
They're damm funny haha miss talking to them.

took 27 with sheng kai.
reached home at 1am and crashed.

woke up at 3pm yay.
and they've been drilling upstairs non-stop since.
walao.

I should start packing my room and start on my filing.
haha.