And so, I thought I'd write something here.
It's in the wee hours of the morning, and I'm in the common lounge trying to brainstorm ideas for my writing mod. Its already the last day of school tomorrow (read: today), but I've felt that I've not accomplished much this semester because I've felt really burnt out throughout this semester.
I wasted my draft because I was caught up with all my other deadlines. And maybe because I procrastinated. A LOT. And so I'm now suffering the consequences.
I've been thinking a lot about a certain someone recently; someone whom I used to talk a lot to, but no longer keep in contact with. Its a strange feeling, because I sorta miss her presence and talking to her, and I keep thinking about our conversations during long bus rides home. Its been 5 years since we first met, and time really flashed by without our giving us due notice. And soon enough, another 5 years will flash by.
I've also been rethinking my priorities and my future plans, and I'm really reconsidering my pursuit of a research career. To be honest, I never had a doubt about pursuing scientific research as a career, because I felt like I could do physics for the rest of my life. However, events that happened the past year has led me to rethink whether this is really all worth it. So what if I knew what black holes do when they collide together? So what?
I've also been considering the prospect of falling in love with someone, committing to someone for the rest of my life, and settling down for good. Will I have enough energy and time to make her happy if I do pursue research? Will the 5/7 years I spend on a PhD be worth it? Will I neglect and sacrifice quality time with everyone I love? Just because I like black holes or galaxies or nebulae? Just because?
The past year has really changed me huh? But its good I suppose. I've really enjoyed myself the past year, and maybe my priorities changed and I don't want to give up anything anymore.
Anyway, its 5.36am now, so don't take my words too seriously here.
Here's hoping that my stars will align.
Here's a short post then. Ciaos.
