(Warning: Long post ahead!)
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Spent the few days of my block leave sleeping. well, don't ask how, my guess is that its food poisoning. (well it actually was food poisoning haha. just that it was not a major case) But I felt so horrible. can't imagine what would happen if I fall sick and no one's there to take care of me ): (haha yeah looks like venturing overseas isn't that easy afterall.)
Was reading through all that I've written throughout bmt, and I realised that the way I write focus on what happened instead of what I feel. I guess this is what actually happens when one begins going through the motions without a goal or something in mind.
"Just get this done and over with"
Its difficult not to become lazy and just go through the motions, giving substandard work.
It will be difficult, especially so later in life I guess, where we go to work everyday and do the same stuff over and over again.
How to prevent this? HAHA. don't ask me. I don't know either.
But I guess it takes a strong, passionate and committed person to find purpose in his work.
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This week has also been a timely reminder that death is a scary thing.
well, I guess that it is time that I have to start mustering the courage to deal with death.
It is going to be difficult, but its part of growing up, yes?
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Had my third and final PC interview last monday.
Well, I've always had this respect for my PC.
Hard to find such sincere people like him around.
And I really respect him because he admits his mistakes.
Though he is too nice sometimes, and its bad for him cause I think he takes a lot of work.
Anyway, he asked me what my greatest takeaway from bmt is.
I had a very hard time answering that question; I didn't learn anything from bmt, and I really didn't know what to say.
I've learnt a lot from my time in BB and those lessons were the ones which carried my through bmt, and I guess that was why I didn't learn anything - I've learnt whatever I needed in the army from BB.
And so I just came up with anything that I could think of.
"No matter how hard the situation, just stick through it."
And I think he could tell that I was smoking him, cause he asked me "Huh? shouldn't you already have learnt these kind of things already?"
hahaha. Well, I guess its one thing to learn a lesson and another to keep it with you for life.
But he was nice, and even complimented me on my optimism. (well, I really don't think I am as optimistic as he says haha.)
But then, he also mentioned that it is one thing to be optimistic, and another to be blindly optimistic, and I guess this is another one of my greatest takeaways.
Anyway, he asked me to start keeping a journal to keep track of all that happens.
"Teachable moments like these don't come by so often."
And that was when I realised that I have been focusing too much on lessons, and not the moments itself.
I've been taking teachable moments for granted I guess, which I told myself not to at the start, but I've somehow lost focus.
And that was how I got my greatest takeaways from bmt - during that final PC interview along Platoon 3's corridor.
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Anyway, talking about takeaways from BMT, I guess another one of my greatest takeaways from bmt, will be the people I've met, both the commanders and my fellow platoon mates.
For one, I think I've got the best commanders out of the whole coy. (:
2LT Weijing, SGTs Teckguan, Kuanjie and 'Ammar.
They're really the best lah. hehe. (:
And of course, there are some other commanders in my company whom I didn't like initially, but as time passed, I began to appreciate them more. (:
and there are some commanders whom made me realised what a commander shouldn't be.
And I am thankful for all of them.
And there's my section mates whom I've really owe so much to.
Learnt a lot from them,
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On the day of 24km Road March, morale was high. hahahaha.
can't remember much about it, except that:
1. final days leading up to POP.
Area Cleaning, Area Cleaning, and Area Cleaning.
hahaha. sian of Area cleaning man. But there was a sense of satisfaction after that cause coy line was so damn clean! hahaha.
2, Everyone played pranks on each other the night before.
camo each other's specs, add powder into their boots, syukri splashing algae water on Brandon (HAHAHA), Whole Falcon coy executing tactical movement to pranks each other at night, changing SGT TeckGuan's Rank.
3. We had our first canteen break on the last day (That was where I bought my 2 packets of sugar-free sweets - food poisoning suspect 1), and SGT TeckGuan brought us along. Before we went back to coy line, he asked tim if everyone was present, and he said yes. (forfeit if someone was missing was 200 pushups)
When we reached coy line, we realised that someone was missing (HAHAHA Chan Chuen suddenly disappeared) and SGT Teck Guan started asking tim where he was. But with that smile, (and we were still standing and not kissing the floor haha) we knew he was trolling.
Anyway, he left us with his 'last lesson' that we should be more cautious after we get posted into our new units, especially so since we get charged easily out there. Don't over-promise and under-deliver. only gets us into deep shit. haha. so thankful for him right :')
4. On the same day, we had time to rest in bunk and everyone slept very soundly (including me) (oh it was after the canteen break). I suddenly woke up and saw this person staring at me. GOT A SHOCK. hahaha. Turns out it was OC Sir checking on all of us. Heard from Sebastian that he actually peeled the skin from his feet and went to smell it to check for footrot. I didn't believe him at first. (HAHAHA can imagine everyone reading this to go eeyer and everything.)
You won't do it, I won't do it. But he did it for us. Us, his recruits. You know, he's really a very great commander who takes ownership of his men. I'm really blessed to have been under his care these few months in tekong. really really touched (':
He spoke to us shortly after that in Eagle-Falcon lecture Theatre. and he left us with 3 things which left quite a deep impression on me.
- keep your values close to you; its the only thing that'll guide your decisions when you have nothing left.
- Be proud of yourself. If you yourself are not proud of yourself, then who else will be proud of you and your achievements?
- Your experience is yours to create. No matter where we go, our mindset must be right, in order for us to make the best of what we have.
and with that, we ran up back to bunk, grabbed our FBO, and it was 24km Road March.
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24km Road March? hahaha. thought it was easy. but it was more tiring than I expected.
It started raining 3 minutes into our road march (merely crossed the first traffic light) and we became drenched. Got our abrasions and everything later on because of our wet uniforms. haha. but it was good.
They gave us alot of food! (haha my sweets dropped in my vest, and I still ate them, so.. food poisoning suspect 2)
East Coast was a total mindfuck. serious. Thought that we were going to exit east coast at 10pm. But we only did so at 2-3am. HAHAHA. so in my head, I went "its finishing soon" for more than 5 hours.
Ouch. hahaha.
Along the way, everyone was so tired along the way. (It was near Gardens by the Bay) and OC sir started singing. (: so everyone sang along (: it was a real morale booster. ((:
Lesson learnt: Don't underestimate Road Marches. They are easy. up to 16km that is. HAHAHAHA. Night road marches are really not easy. (especially when the person in front can't shut up! haha)
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We Reached Marina Bay Platform at around 4am. so we had time to sleep until 6am plus.
and that was it - the parade.
We didn't know what to expect there cause its really our first time there.
But the commanders were right - it did feel different there.
The bright morning sun, cooling breeze, cheering crowd; It was amazing.
well, I'll admit that i cried when we re-entered the parade square after returning our arms.
OC Sir, along with LTA Yeung, shook all of our hands and congratulated all of us.
and that was when I knew; that was when all of us knew, that it was the last time - the last time we'll be marching together.
You know those times when you know you want to cry, and you start controlling your breathing and your tears, but they come out worse than ever? Yeah - I came out a tear-stained mess.
I really didn't know why, but I guess, 4 months together, growing stronger together, its not easy to say goodbye just like that.
But I guess its doesn't end there. Its only the start of a long journey.
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So, block leave...
Diarrhea started on monday (vegetarian curry - suspect number 3, prawn mee after POP - suspect number 4) and I slept the day away.
Tuesday: Met up with Junjie for Dinner, and stayed over with the girls. Just whole day talk cock and sing song only ahhaha. (lol sing song until we woke leona's parents up hehe)
Watch the Great Magaician (wanted to watch it so long ago manz) and its not bad. (: it was good, it was good. (:
Wednesday - had breakfast at Hougang Macs with JJ and the girls, before heading back home.
and I SLEPT THE DAMN DAY AWAY CAUSE I HAD DIARRHEA. Period. ()
Thursday - spent the afternoon at titus's house with JJ and zhida playing halo.
(eh my halo skills improved a little after army! though still noob lah)
joined a few of the section mates for dinner later!
Robin, Weijie, Brandon, Tim, JinJie, Dom and Polly (Dom's gf). hehehe
(HAHA Dom and I were 40mins late for this one and weijie was so pissed hahahahah)
had Marshe at 313@somerset, and it was damn ATAS can!! .
though the food could have been better for its price (well, you rarely hear me say that food is not up to standard)
One thing for sure though, was that the company was great! .
Went to play pool after that! I take time to warm up, and I played pretty well after that. haha. though I only have a period of time where I perform before I actually start shooting like some ballz. .
Friday - Met up with the Section again! This time to play pool, LAN and to share our posting! haha everyone's posting sounds exciting. well, its good. (HAHAHA this time I was the early one so.. yeah nvm lah wait lor :P its karma heehe)
Still can't play DOTA -.- haha suck at it cause the game requires practice, and I don't really see the fun in it :P
But anyway, still a good day out with the guys. looks like it will be a long time before we can find time to meet up with each other, especially for the ocs guys. (:
Saturday - joined MX Oh in his city adventures. haha.
So went to beach road to restock on stuff (bloody hell I spent a whopping $22 there) (spenthrift mode on only at beach road), went to National library to find books for me to read, and walked around city area and talked. hehe ^^
Sunday!
Class Outing (which I was late again) to watch 'Painted Skin II'.
Good movie with a good storyline, (it was predictable, but the last part had a very good twist!)
The major explosions at the end spoiled the show though.
walked to Bras Basar Macs to lepakkkkk (oh I remember we walked robert to his church with his crutches hahaha) and met up with jerrie there.
While some of the peeps went home, Vivi, Jerrie, Mingxuan, Teckyan, and I met up with Joshua to try Korean BBQ. WHICH WAS SHIOK MAX OKAY. ^^ I still smile when I think of the food khahaha.
and that was block leave. Wanted to go overseas at first, but I guess spending it back home with good company isn't that bad either. (:
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Anyway, for those who still don't know, I got posted to RSAF to be a Air Defence Weapon Operator (ADWO). and that essentially means GBAD (Ground Based Air Defence) which is.. quite fierce lah. HAHA.
anyway, my first week was spent at Air Force Training Command (AFTC) for Airmen Orientation Progamme (AOP).
My Course Coordinator was 3WO benson and he's a damn awesome WO I swear. hahaha.
talked to him and yeah he's nice.
anyway, it was stayout for the whole week for ADWOs (Air Force technicians had to stay-in) and they oriented us with the various airforce commands and the RSAF as a whole.
Lectures are a pain in the ass. HAHA. want to sleep but cannot cause Warren Benson will wake us up.
We did have some special programmes.
Values Workshop on Tuesday, which made me think more deeply about things.
The difference between commitment and obligation, the purpose behind adding meaning into our work (haha double pun) and why we need to serve ns (well, rape of naking where the elderly suffer and the women get raped and etc etc sigh so depressing)
and there was one point which made a very deep impression on me, and it was that we should learn to handle money, because it is the root of all evil.
I've never liked talking about money, because I thought that it is the root of all evil, and
This made me realise that I am merely running away from the problem.
so.. yeah I need to grow up. haha.
Visited Sembawang Air Base and Chong Pang Camp on Thursday!
Well, all i can say is that I touched a helicopter! hehehe ^^
Air Force Museum on Friday was.. not bad too. haha
Well, anything is better than staying in camp :P hahaha.
Quite fun lah (:
so.. AOP was a good week. slackkkk hehehe :P
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So, Monday came, and I got notified that I got posted to Chong Pang Camp (Its in Yishun)
They do real ops, so its quite classified and well, I can't talk much about what we do in there anymore..
"This is as real as it gets."
so, I guess whenever I blog, it'll be book reviews or movie reviews or shows or whatever I'm doing hehehe. (since I have much time now.)
The next 10 weeks of training won't be easy, so I'll have to hang in there.
This week did make me realise why I always feel that I am not trying my best.
When was the last time I felt like dying after a run?
hahaha.
I keep pulling back.
stayed too long in my comfort zone.
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Went for MOE tea session today..
Well, i sort of decided that MOE's not the organisation for me.
You know, after secondary school, I was so keen on teaching, on helping people, on becoming a teacher.
But after going through JC and having seen how ungrateful some people can be, I figured out that I no longer want to commit myself to people who refuse to commit to me.
so.. whats next? I don't know.
But I gotta act fast.
The next deadline is coming soon.
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I have bad posture.
Need to walk and sit up straight!
Body's too used to the hunch.
Don't wanna injure my back during training.
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long post huh.
hahaha.
yeah, result of procasination hehe.
have a lot of shows to watch now!
TBBT, Fringe, HIMYM, Criminal Minds.
hahaha so exciting man (:
next week of training will not be easy.
Just hang in there, Just hang in there.
