Reunion.

This was four days ago.

I really really love you guys.

contact.

Haven't wrote here for some time.

Blogging on my phone again. Ahha. Only means I have stuff on my mind huh ahaha.

So, it has been slightly more than a week since cloud atlas.

I'm still awestruck. Really loved the film.

Can't appreciate its greatness, don't think I ever will.

1. Battery cohesion.

Nah it sucked.

2. Dentist.

Gave me an excuse to leave battery cohesion halfway. 

Got 6 jabs (2 cartridges) of anesthetic at my upper lips and got 5 cavities filled. ($100 for 5 cavities eh ahaha quite cheap cause my aunt works there)

It was quite funny cause my mouth couldn't close properly and I couldn't rinse my mouth without spilling some water out.

Went home with mum who went on an appointment with grandma nearby for her fracture and the driver couldn't stop staring at me cause of my mouth ahaha.

Slept the rest of the day away (my nose got numb after that haha and the anesthetic sorta gave me an headache).

Feels weird not being able to feel some part of your body - like you are suddenly disconnected from it. Feels sort of like how it is like with people too. The sudden loss of ability to connect with someone who is a major part of your life... it renders us dysfunctional, does it not?

3. Went or changing airport group's scholarship seminar on Saturday and the speakers were good. Quite humorous actually. CEO seems like a nice guy. Ahaha.

Anyway, the scholarship would be a good gateway to a career in the private sector. Only problem is.. I can't imagine myself working there. I'll be bored by stuff like that you know.. not suited for it.

CAG is a small group - 1400 people working with 28000 other external contractors to run the airport. So it really amazes me how much teamwork those people there have.

The attrition rate is low too. 4% every year. (Yup someone asked the question an everyone went.. ouchhhh) maybe its because of the small company size.. ahah.

Sounds good, but I can't make myself go or it. Ahaha.

4. Decided that I shouldn't sign a scholarship with Moe too.

I might like physics a lot and I want to make it more 'accessible' to more people.

But, I have discovered recently that I have lost my ability to communicate my thoughts to people. Not jut academics, but in everyday life too.

Well, I don't know.

5. Had dinner with grandma.
Was supposed to have battery cohesion no. 2 (BBQ), but decided to eat with grandma instead. If I can't pioritise family now, I don't think I can do it next time when I work.

6. Visited yan's house on Sunday and had a real good time catching up with everyone.

Dinner after that with josh, cass, dylan and jerrie. Ahaha I really hoped that we could talk the whole night and not have to book in. But oh well.

7. I'm becoming needy.

Sigh.

After this week, short week next week cause I'm forced to clear off ahaha. So yup get this done and over with let's go.

And it is one year down next week!
One more year to go!

Full steam ahead on my to-do list!

"What is your version of the truth?"

Unitarian Universalism is a theologically liberal religion characterized by support for a "free and responsible search for truth and meaning". Unitarian Universalists do not share a creed; rather, they are unified by their shared search for spiritual growth and by the understanding that an individual's theology is a result of that search and not obedience to an authoritarian requirement. Unitarian Universalists draw on many different theological sources and have a wide range of beliefs and practices. 

There is no single unifying belief that all Unitarian Universalists hold, aside from complete and responsible freedom of speech, thought, belief, faith, and disposition. Unitarian Universalists believe that each person is free to search for his or her own personal truth on issues, such as the existence, nature, and meaning of life, deities, creation, and afterlife. Unitarian Universalists can come from any religious background, and hold beliefs and adhere to morals from a variety of cultures or religions. 

Concepts about deity are diverse among Unitarian Universalists.  Some are monotheistic. Some have no belief in any gods (atheism); others believe in many gods (polytheism). Some believe that the question of the existence of any god is most likely unascertainable or unknowable (agnosticism). Some believe that God is a metaphor for a transcendent reality. Some believe in a female god (goddess), an Abrahamic god, or a god identified with nature or the universe (pantheism). Still others may hold with the Deist notion that a creator God exists, but does not intervene in the world or reveal itself, and can only be apprehended (if at all) through the use of reason. Many Unitarian Universalists reject the idea of deities and instead speak of the "spirit of life" that binds all life on earth. Unitarian Universalists support each person's search for truth and meaning in concepts of spirituality.

Pantheism is the belief that everything composes an all-encompassing, immanent God, or that the universe (or nature) is identical with divinity. Pantheists thus do not believe in a personal or anthropomorphic god

Methodological naturalism is concerned not with claims about what exists but with methods of learning what is nature. It is strictly the idea that all scientific endeavors—all hypotheses and events—are to be explained and tested by reference to natural causes and events. The genesis of nature, e.g., by an act of God, is not addressed. This second sense of naturalism seeks only to provide a framework within which to conduct the scientific study of the laws of nature. Methodological naturalism is a way of acquiring knowledge. It is a distinct system of thought concerned with a cognitive approach to reality, and is thus a philosophy of knowledge. Studies by sociologist Elaine Ecklund suggest that religious scientists do in fact apply methodological naturalism. They report that their religious beliefs affect the way they think about the implications, often moral, of their work, but not the way they practice science.

Robert T. Pennock contends that as supernatural agents and powers "are above and beyond the natural world and its agents and powers" and "are not constrained by natural laws", only logical impossibilities constrain what a supernatural agent could not do, and "If we could apply natural knowledge to understand supernatural powers, then, by definition, they would not be supernatural". As the supernatural is necessarily a mystery to us, it can provide no grounds on which to judge scientific models. "Experimentation requires observation and control of the variables.... But by definition we have no control over supernatural entities or forces." Science does not deal with meanings; the closed system of scientific reasoning cannot be used to define itself. Allowing science to appeal to untestable supernatural powers would make the scientist's task meaningless, undermine the discipline that allows science to make progress, and "would be as profoundly unsatisfying as the ancient Greek playwright's reliance upon the deus ex machina to extract his hero from a difficult predicament."

Naturalism of this sort says nothing about the existence or nonexistence of the supernatural, which by this definition is beyond natural testing. As a practical consideration, the rejection of supernatural explanations would merely be pragmatic, thus it would nonetheless be possible, for an ontological supernaturalist to espouse and practice methodological naturalism. For example, a scientist may believe in God, while practicing methodological naturalism in their scientific work. This position does not preclude knowledge that is somehow connected to the supernatural. Generally however, anything that can be scientifically examined and explained would not be supernatural, simply by definition.

Cloud Atlas.

Heya.

So life's been monotonously bleak these days.
It is supposed to be cny, but its a little different because grandma is no longer here with us - feels so much empty, not that cny has a big significance in my life (it used to), but I've seen happier days during the festive season.
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Watched Ah Boys' to men twice, once on CNY day 1 with my cousins, and another time on CNY day 3 with Leona, Bridget and Junjie.

Well, it was a good movie.
Reminded me of the tekong times with Eagle P3S4, and I really really miss everyone of them.

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Work at camp is crazy as usual.

Bleh.

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Watched cloud atlas today, and it was really spectacular.

Ah Boys to Men made me tear, but Cloud Atlas made me cry.

The movie explores six interrelated and interwoven stories in different time periods, and in each story, a different theme is explored.

The first story, set in the South Pacific Ocean in 1849, explores how a lawyer denounced slavery after meeting a slave who saved him while he was helping his father-in-law conclude a business deal in trading slaves.

The second story, set in Europe in 1936, narrates the tale of a 23-year-old bisexual English musician who  finds work as an amanuensis to a famous composer so as to find the time and inspiration to compose his own masterpiece.

The third story, set in San Francisco, California, 1973, is about a journalist who risks getting murdered after getting tipped off about a conspiracy regarding the safety of a new nuclear reactor.

The fourth story set in United Kingdom, 2012, is about how a 65-year-old publisher tries to escape from a nursing home where he is held against his will and treated poorly.

The fifth story is set in Neo Seoul, (Korea), 2144, where a genetically-engineered fabricant (clone) server at a fast-food restaurant is freed from her compliant life of servitude by a member of a rebel movement, whose aim is to stop all fabricants like her from being "recycled" into food for other clones.

The last story is dated 106 winters after "The Fall" (End of Advanced Human Civilisation), on the big island of Hawaii, where a Shepard struggles to fight his visions of the devil.

The themes of slavery, homosexuality, corruption, old age, genetic engineering, and rationality are explored, and it shows how ordinary folks struggle and fight against conventions established by the powerful, and sometimes even themselves.

Really powerful movie, relevant to us, today, tomorrow, anytime, anywhere.

The story that resonated with me the strongest was the 6th story, because it reminds me of myself - how I'm always at war at my irrationality. My temper, ego, insecurities, fears, thoughts, and my ideas about God.
And it was a reminder that even though we succumb to our irrationality sometimes (the last scene when he killed the enemy even when the Abbess said not to, and the devil disappeared right when he was about to get killed), it is not the end, cause our friends will be there.
They will be the ones who will suffer the consequences of our misjudgment, but these people will be the ones who will pick us up too.

I have to agree that the 5th story was the one that was the saddest, and I could relate a lot to the 2nd story too.

comedy, love story, thriller.

The links between the story was a little weak though, but it actually shows that even though the remants of our lives and choices are weak, it will never totally diminish.

It could even be made into a TV series (heh) (but nah the TV series will most probably spoil the whole concept.)

I'll want to watch it again when the dvd comes out or something. 
the movie is no longer showing in many cinemas.

and it made it to #1 on my list of favourite movies (:

Reunion.

What comes to your mind when you hear the word 'reunion'?

One would like to think of happy gatherings, of people coming together after separation; a climax of some sort, catching up with each other and filling in the gaps where what they left behind or what they lost used to be.

One would like to think of completion - of parts coming back together to make a whole, re-establishing a union made in the past.

I came to realise, however, that as much as we seek perfection and yearn for perfect reconciliation, reunion can never be perfect.

The cracks will always surface, the tension will always increase.
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Just got back from reunion dinner.

To be real honest, it used to hold some meaning.
But as I grew up, it almost becomes a routine; a yearly routine.

We get together (my family, my grandma, and my aunt), and everyone will start becoming exceptionally polite and ask everyone else to sit down. It comes to a point where everyone talks but no one listens. The next moment, people give up and stop talking for a little while and a certain awkward silence follows. We will then start offering food to each other and Grandma will start complaining about my bad dining etiquette and ask my parents to teach me, and my dad will complain about how my granddad never taught him anything when he was young. The awkward silence follows again, and the only audible sound will be the sound of utensils (yeah that'll be me)

Nah, it isn't that bad. Maybe its just me.

Its so annoying hearing everyone bitch about each other and yet still call each other family.
Nothing wrong with it, except that it is annoying.

On the surface, it would seem hypocritical for people to do that.
But I guess it is also a comfort to realise that even though we have our differences, we will still put them apart for those who truly matter - each of us in the family.
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Well, the fact that grandma prepared steamboat for us even though she dislocated her thumb after a fall yesterday..
It shows a lot, doesn't it.

I really want to reciprocate everyone's love, but I don't know how to, and I am very afraid that I won't have the chance to when I think of a way.

Reunions aren't always happy; each reunion is a painful reminder that it might be our last - that one piece of the puzzle might go missing before the next year comes and the picture will never be whole again.

Happy Lunar New Year.

rant.

I feel so down today.

Not angry, not sad, just down.

So many things that I want to do, but I'm not getting anywhere.

I need to find some way to be motivated.

Secondary.

Classical Adlerian psychology makes a distinction between primary and secondary inferiority feelings. A primary inferiority feeling is said to be rooted in the young child's original experience of weakness, helplessness and dependency. It can then be intensified by comparisons to siblings, romantic partners, and adults. A secondary inferiority feeling relates to an adult's experience of being unable to reach a subconscious, fictional final goal of subjective security and success to compensate for the inferiority feelings.

The perceived distance from that goal would lead to a negative/depressed feeling that could then prompt the recall of the original inferiority feeling; this composite of inferiority feelings could be experienced as overwhelming.

The goal invented to relieve the original, primary feeling of inferiority which actually causes the secondary feeling of inferiority is the "catch-22" of this dilemma. This vicious circle is common in neurotic lifestyles.

feel like crap.

Well, there is a pun at the word 'secondary' if you didn't notice.

booked out 5 hours ago to book in later.

oh well.

Been watching Fringe (Season 1) while on duty yesterday.
Interesting, plot is grounded in solid science, but highly unlikely to happen in the near future.
But who knows huh.

Well, I had so much I wanted to write.
But I kinda forgot what. again.

ahahaha.