Safety Breach.

hello.
I guess you are wondering what I'm doing online at home on a weekday when I should be in camp.

well, grandma passed away yesterday morning at the ripe old age of 91 .
got up for her usual cup of coffee, went back to sleep and never woke up again.

I only got hold of the news yesterday night, so booked out immediately.
kind of upset me that I got hold of the news so late, but its my own fault I guess.
shows my commitment to my family huh.

It is really sudden you know, saw her like a few weeks ago and she was still fine.
When I switched on my phone yesterday night and received the message, I really went 'what the fuck'.
couldn't believe it.
I remember telling myself to cherish everyone around me just 2 blog posts ago, and just when I was about to do something, these things happen.

I'm always too slow huh.

booked out, and the people on guard duty were like "shiok ah can book out"
I didn't want to take leave, not this kind of leave at least.
and thursday being ippt, I guess I screwed myself over.
missing out on days of pt, will have to catch up myself.

need to start trying my best and stop being such a sore loser.
need to change.

getting today and tomorrow off.and friday being good friday, and monday being block leave, I have almost a week off camp.
better make it productive though i'll be busy helping out at the wake.

went for the funeral, everyone was alright.
I guess everyone kind of saw it coming, especially with all that has been happening.
second uncle's death, third uncle's stroke, and fourth uncle going bankrupt, all in one year.
but the thing is now that grandma's gone, I think that hell's gonna break loose.
hope what I foresee won't come true.
gonna have to give my mum more support than what I am giving right now.

second funeral in this 6 months. don't want another one.
the sight of someone lying in there isn't a pretty one.
the thick make-up doesn't actually cover how pale and lifeless the body is.

there's still so much about life I don't know.

they say grandma passed away peacefully, but did she really have peace when she went?
I don't know, but hope she's fine, and if there's a heaven, I hope she doesn't bring all her troubles there.

The past week at camp was good.
pt pt and pt, and did technical handling of the SAR21 the past 2 days.
I guess it is easier to handle things when you understand its basic principles. (for both the SAR21 and physics haha)

nus science accepted me last thursday. (submitted my choice on sunday. first time so efficient)
had a talk with dad just now about my course.
well, he's not actually against physics, he is just against the scholarship I want. (he doesn't want me to teach)
I guess I didn't communicate properly to him about my interest in CAG and SIA scholarship so its my fault.
trying out only next cycle.

Had RT last saturday so booked out late.
and while booking out, along the ferry terminal, I told sean 'the shore is really pretty!'
and he said 'no, it is so barren!'
I disagree with how he thinks though.
Just because it is barren doesn't mean it cannot be beautiful.
like mountains or sand dunes, it can be barren and beautiful at the same time.

oh, and talking about this, ns is such a funny experience.
I get to meet people everywhere.
I get to see hanren everyday (cause he is just the next company), see dylan everyday (duhhh HAHAH).
but it is not just them. I see primary school friends, secondary school friends, jc friends, BB friends, all in camp.
and the funny thing is, sometimes they all know each other too haha.

and the tekong nightsky is beautiful.
can see so many stars (:

oh, sum41 actually has a new album.
didn't realise until dylan and jinjie were talking about music in camp.

this is my favourite song off the album, hope you like it too.

Hold me now, 'cause I couldn't even if I tried,
It's over now,
I guess it really is my time,
I don't wanna go,
but it's time I got to say goodbye,
So, hold me me now,
'cause this will be our last time.

I'm slowing down and I don't think that I can fight,
I know some how you'll find a way to live your life,
Remember just to live every day like it's your last,
And hold me now,

'cause I think it's time for me to pass.
I don't want to die,
I don't know why, this kind of fate was meant for me.
You got to be strong,
got to move on, it's not how it was 'sposed to be.
And what do I say,
it was never supposed to end up this way,
What do I have to do,
was I supposed to grow old with you?

But that ain't gonna happen,
No, that ain't gonna happen.

Hold me now,
'cause the time I've got's running out,
No tears allowed,
even though we've become without,
I just want to feel your head laying on my chest,
So hold me now,
as I take my last breath.

I don't want to die,
I don't know why,
this kind of fate was meant for me.
You got to be strong,
got to move on, it's not how it was 'sposed to be.
And what do I say,
it was never supposed to end up this way,
What do I have to do,
was I supposed to grow old with you?

But that aint gonna happen,
No, that aint gonna happen.

gonna go down to help out now.
she's getting cremated on saturday.

"Four In!"

Hello everyone.
back from camp on friday and booking in in 3/4 hours time!
a very short one before I continue with uni app and scholarship stuff.
blogging helps to reflect and set goals for this coming week, so... here I go!


anyway, confinement week was fun, army gets a little boring sometimes (k maybe boring is really an understatement) but at least the people are great. haha.
can't talk too much about it here.
I'm alright with being confined HAHA just that it gets a little too long.


life is good there. food is good, water parade daily, get my daily dose of vitamin D from the sun, and we don't have to wash our plates HAHAHAHA (wakao really makes me feel spoiled)


just get irritated with people who 1) are bloody blurr cocks but pretend to know everything, 2) people who whine, and 3) people who don't bother putting in effort.
but there are always people out there like there so have to bear with it.


anyway, I enlisted, got to know my bunk mates. (who I think are very nice people), have fantastic platoon sergeants, a experienced buddy.AND I love my OC. CPT Fong is really a great man. Vulgar-free man (I swear it takes a lot of discipline not to scold vulgarities in the army), and so inspiring. He majored in social work haha so cool. and I vaguely remember seeing him in some brightsparks scholarship magazine. gonna dig it out when I have the time!


anyway, first quote from him on the first day: "Pain is weakness leaving the body."
gonna let it stay with me.
continue fighting on.


played many games as well! averaging once a week. captain's ball, frisbee etc.
oh and we were playing tug-of-war on friday for games and it is such a great game. CPT Fong told us he loves tug-of-war for many reasons. lots of lessons to be learnt. starting right, working as a team, strategy.
but the most important lesson from the game which he taught me, was that tug-of-war is called tug-of-war for a reason. its because it really is so much like war. it only takes one mistake to spoil the game.
and that was when i suddenly realise that I cannot be as wishy-washy as how I used to be last time. need to change. make no room for any mistakes.


got my rifle (was quite scared of the whole thing about the rifle honestly. this bloody thing can kill), saw the power of it in the demo at the range. road marched twice for 3km which was pretty no kick and fun haha. looking forward to more road marches and etc.


did many more stuff too. alot of PT (I swear I have never sweat so much in my life before), swimming lessons ((((: and a lot of sleepy lectures (WALAO and we have elearning and homework too wtffffffff)


I'm no longer as sharp as I was last time. I don't whether it is because I really became more blurr or if it is attributed to my lack of discipline. got to stay sharp and aware really.


met up with joshua, martin, teckyan, cass and vivi ytd @ starbucks. met up with tiong for a short while before that to get my nus open house stuff as well. haha. and we just talked (: like talking cock HAHAHA.


busy with uni apps and stuff, esp the scholarship stuffs.
still not done yet omggggggg kill me...


Parents are against me studying physics and I even quarrelled with them over it. I see where they are coming from and I compromised by saying that I'll change, just that I need time to think about it. but they refuse to listen so I dun care anymore. gonna put it as first choice. bleh. :P


Quite unwilling to enlist because I have lots of things I want to do outside here.
But these two weeks have been a timely reminder for me to differentiate between what I need and what I want. it not easy to accept but no choice but to 'lan lan suck thumb' lol.


I got angry with people at some point of time in there and I'm sure I angered many people lol but oh well. better quit my short temper and deflate my ego a little before I get into big trouble with others.


anyway, for the first few days after I enlisted, I was very distracted cause i wanted to continue whatever I was doing at home. listening to lectures and studying etc. really forgot everything I've learnt already (and its only been 2-3 weeks D:) and I really felt quite sian.
(but k lah if I can forget whatever I learn, it means that I havn't actually learnt, mastered and understood it hahaha)
but I just wanted to get out of all the boredom.


but then, I thought of Richard Feynman, and all the exciting physics and things I wanted to learn.
but suddenly, I was reminded of what he said:

"Tell your son to stop trying to fill your head with science — for to fill your heart with love is enough."
- Letter to the mother of Marcus Chown, who had been fascinated with the profile of him on the BBC show Horizon in 1981, written after Chown asked him to write her a birthday note, thinking it would help him in his attempts at trying to explain scientific things to her. Published in No Ordinary Genius : The Illustrated Richard Feynman (1996), by Christopher Simon Sykes, p. 161.

That was when i realised that whatever I wanted to do wasn't so important after all.
I lost my focus.

The only reason why I respect Feynman and many other people like Carl Sagan so much is because of their personality and character, and insights. not the science they do.

and I suppose it is time for me to look at what I want to focus on, to review myself and whatever values I have, and most importantly, to fill my heart with love again.

I might not want this, but I most definitely need this, so I hope I come out a better man after all this.

like CPT Fong says, we can do alot of things with very little time. it is just up to us; whether we are disciplined or not. and whether we want to. Things like long term and short term goals, and even our personal vision and mission; they are all very important.
so gonna take some time to think about this. haha.

oh nice, finished this post in 30mins. fastest post ever.
haha cyaaaaaaaaaaa. got to return to doing uni apps (omg why is this thing so long)

Angels.

Hi everyone.

This was one crazy and fast week.

have a bit of time before I need to start packing, so...

UPDATE TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

don't really want to finish up this post, but.. HECK LETS START.
_____________________________________________________________

wednesday - Movie with unemployed people!!

Cass, Vivi, Jaime Goh, Jiahong, Zuhair and I went to watch This means war!!

hahahah we were supposed to meet for breakfast at 11.
but I woke up late again (hahahaha cause I was writing the previous post :P)

anyway, reached vivo but didn't know how to get to the food court they were at!
(haha stupid signs)

so after getting lost for a while and with a little help, I got to the food court.
and ate tom yum ban mian.

the staff there were so bloody rude.
they were lucky that I just woke up and couldn't be bothered with them.

anyway, movie started at 12.30!!
so met up with the rest who came later.

anyway, me and vivi were quarreling the whole time haha.
it was because I thought she said the movie started at 2.30 on msn.
but she really did say that it starts at 12.30 so....

:P

anyway, the movie was good, hahaha.
we went on to just walk around vivo.

and soon after everyone was bored.
so everyone decided to come crash my house hahahaha.
well, long time since I've brought friends home.
hmm.. 4 years? yup. haha.

so we just played cards and stoned and ate all the junk food we bought at hougang mall on our way to my house (hahahah convenient excuse to get snacks :P)

and after that Pung joined us after work so yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy hahaha good that she lives near me hehehe.

so after that (with people leaving here and there) the few of us left went to hougang mall to stone (supposed to treat them to dinner but they weren't hungryyyy hahaha) and played shag marry kill hahaha.
poor cass always gets the hardest choices HAHAHAHAH.
_____________________________________________________________
 Thursday - stayed home to finish replaying FF 7 - Crisis Core

such a wonderful game really.
the story line between the few series is really amazing I must say. hahaha.
_____________________________________________________________
Friday - Results Day!!

woke up at 7 plus to go for a jog with Melvyn.
well, long time since we've met; he's busy with his life, I'm occupied with mine.
well, had a very nice jog and talk with him. hahaha.

met up with a few peeps from class to eat breakfast after that.
Tiong Ann, Martin, Ming Xuan and Han Ren met up earlier.
and the rest of us joined in laterrr.
hahaha alot of army talk ((:

and yup! just talked for a while until it was about time for lunch hahahaha.
so had a few others like emm jaime and robert join us.
yup. pizza hut was good!!

and so went back to school.

to be perfectly honest, I wasn't nervous at all.
I kept telling myself "whats done is done." and really didn't worry too much about it.

anyway, I did real well; never expected that my name will be up on the slides again.
especially since it was all so last minute and stuff, and I was so unprepared for the papers.

was only expecting As for physics and maths, but glad that I had As for PCMG. not only did I not disappoint my JC teachers, I'm glad that I manage to get As for all the subjects that I liked most at O levels, and not disappoint my sec school teachers. especially E. Lim for chem. I'm really glad that I didn't disappoint her.

I sort of think that I don't deserve my results, after looking at how people who have put in so much more effort than me get less desirable grades.

so, I shall make this a promise: I'll take this set of good results from God up there (if he does exist) as a loan and pay back the hard work during university.
(hopefully the interest rate is low haha)

my life will definitely be very different with a different set of results.
well, I'm real thankful and I sort of still don't believe its real.

but one lesson I've learnt from JC and A levels is that real or not, you like it or not, ready or not, just go and do it, and stop waiting. time is of the essence.

well. I feel a little disheartened about this whole results thing cause many people who deserved to do well didn't. its like they are deprived of the things that they rightfully should have.
and many people like me feels it is unfair, well, at least some part of me does.
another problem is how many people who are interested to pursue academic subjects like geog can't do so with a less desirable set of results cause NUS holds a monopoly over this course.
to introduce a new university? vast consequences, both good and bad. well, k shall stop thinking about this.

anyway, after results, went with the class to parkway and had pastamania.
then just sat around and talked. (:
moved to the pavilion near parkway and continued talking hahaha.
its so funny how we like to sit down and talkkkk. like hanging around the class so much (:
_____________________________________________________________
Sunday - Sentosa with GI friends (:

well, actually almost 20 people were invited hahaha.
but only 6 of us came cause of pcb for the various camps.
well peak period now so can't blame them. haha.

anyway, cass tay, jiahui, hanafi, martyn, I and Lyron (who came later) had a good time at sentosa. (:
me and martyn kayaking, talking crap (esp about the kids!), playing frisbee, playing guitar, beach volleyball.
didn't regret going (:

well, cass had to leave early, so the rest of us had a little time there at the beach.
before we went to vivo where I parted ways from the rest.

met up with bridget who ended her shift at vivo as well.
went down to career fair with junjie.
with lots of people talking crap HAHAHA.

OH. and someone attacked me because of the pimples on my face -_- (k if I want to market a facial wash or something to someone, who in the right mind will single that person out right. at least I won't. I'll like ask the group or something right. -_- want to sell something please at least think of how you want to approach the person and not be so damn tactless -_-)

anyway, JustAcia after that! good meal, and we headed home. (:
_____________________________________________________________
Monday - 5th March

woke up at 10+ today when I'm supposed to meet mingxuan @ 10.30 at parkway hahaha.
luckily it was raining heavily at bedok so he had to wait for the rain to kind of stop.
(well it was actually on my side too but.. still went haha)

went to parkway to get gifts for the teachers! didn't know what to buy so just bought rocher for the teachers. (:
then went around to grab other misc stuff and went to TJC where we met dylan khoo!
he got red pens for the teachers! (why didn't think of that) hahaha.

so we went and passed the stuff to the teachers and went home!

and I want to complain cause mx was supposed to shave with me but he pangseh-ed me ):
k lah not his fault anyway hahaha.
(OH DYLAN KHOO JUST MESSAGE ME TO SAY THAT HE PANGSEH-ED ME ALSO walaooo thanks ah guys)
(k edit: HAHAHA STUPID DYLAN KHOO BLUFF ME YAY tmr i'm not the only botak one!!)

dad keeps poping into my room, esp these few days.
haha he's showing his concern to me lah, and I really appreciate it (:

so anyway, shaved botak, spent some time at home, and now I'm short of time to pack cause its 11.45 already ohgawdddddd. haha see lah this is what blogging does to me.
_____________________________________________________________
anyway, enlisting tmr, not very worried, like how I was nervous for results.
just take it as it comes.
like mingxuan says, any mature person with a sound and composed mind will be able to handle this.

so yup gonna take it as it comes.
_____________________________________________________________
anyway, I have been putting this one song on repeat since yesterday night.
it is 'hear you me' by Jimmy Eats World.

I think many people want to know why the url of my blog is actually remember-this-song.blogspot.com.
it is because I have a story for most of the songs I have on my phone.
They are so dear to me. so even though I'm always stuck listening to this few songs, I'll never get sick of them cause they have a story behind them.

and how did I get to know of this song?

This person (whom I am not very close with) dedicated this song to her brother who just passed away.
The first thing that actually hit me was the fear and panic that would come to someone before he actually went.

how would her parents feel? how would she feel? how would his friends feel?

and I actually saw the whole thing unfold on fb, so It didn't feel good.

anyway, the lyrics and the song mean a lot as well.
cliche as it sounds, but cherish whoever you have.

kay, shall leave you with this song.
back in 3 weeks time.
its 12am now, 10 hours to enlistment.
better start packing now.

kthxbye.

There's no one in town I know,
You gave us some place to go,
I never said thank you for that,
'thought I might get one more chance.


What would you think of me now?
So lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
Now I'll never have a chance.


May angels lead you in,
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads, the sleepless go,
May angels lead you in.


So what would you think of me now?
So lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
Now I'll never have a chance.


May angels lead you in,
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go,
May angels lead you in.


May angels lead you in,
May angels lead you in.


And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
God wouldn't let it live.


May angels lead you in,
Hear you me my friends,
On sleepless roads the sleepless go,
May angels lead you in.


May angels lead you in,
Hear you me my friends,
On sleepless roads the sleepless go,
May angels lead you in.

Good break.

It has been a while since I've written here huh.

today was such an mundane day ahhaha.
so much has happened since the last time I've blogged.

tried to start writing since this morning, but looks like I failed.
sigh when will i ever get rid of this bad habit?
always procasinating.

anyway, here's what has happened!
(will be writing a few lines only cause can't remember that much and its 1 plus in the morning already haha)

19th December 2011
Went out with sabu and Junjie to catch up etc!!
haha fun day out (:
watched tintin and it was not bad a movie (:

20th December 2011
stayed home to watch TED lectures hahah.
havn't been watching them for quite some time cause the lectures that they upload are not what I'm interested in.
This can also be attributed to youtube's design change.
so messy now rawr.

anyway, I was reminded of the fact that I need to start slowing down (hard to do so esp. in Singapore) in order to appreciate the real flavour of life.
have been going through the motions so rapidly these 2 years in JC that I'm sort of numb to everything now.

21st December 2011
spent the day with Leona, Bridget and Junjie.
went ice skating @ kallang and seafood @ punggol
Ice skated till I had abrasion at one of my ankles hehehe.
but its nice going to iceskate after so many years. (the last time I skated was when I was in sec 2)
The seafood @ punggol was so awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeee ^^
gonna go back again for it I promise!

after eating our fill, we went to take a walk @ punggol waterway.
very nice place I must say (:
we just talked and talked and talked. ((((:
and we even played with all the water and stuff hahahaha.
got so bloody wet. (vids and photos still with Bree ang! ): )
It was definitely a night I'll never forget (:

22nd December 2011
spent the day @ bethel pres going through the rehearsal for our christmas play.
hahahaha. oh well at least I did something productive that day.
and the churchies sang the birthday song for me (haha no lah not specially for me. it was only because someone else's birthday fell on the same day so they sang it for us!)
and went home to cut cake haha (didn't take pics with mum and dad cause wan't in the mood and now I regret it ): )

23rd December 2011
met up with the 48th boys and puvan who came down from malaysia!
haha ate astons and talked.
remember that ben chua saw joel and noel in phuket hahahaha so coincidental
went to watch a movie after that (which I actually forgot which movie we watched :P)
but had fun can liao lahhhh hahahaha.

24th and 25th December 2011
spent at Bethel Pres for Christmas Celebrations and performance.
haha i was only doing logistics.
got to know Uncle vincent who is super awesome!
(though I must admit he sounded intimidating in the beginning ):)

Tiong Ann came back from Taiwan then and he gave me a badge for a pressie (:
so sweet of him.
then in between rehearsals we kept talking hahaha.
(about how i got molested -_- and his scandal HAHAHAHAHAHA)
(k shall not give too many clues here)

but anyway, seeing how everyone is so happy makes me feel more sad hahaha cause I don't feel that kind of joy anymore.
anyway, feedback for the play was good (:
won't be having a combined celebration @ Bethel Pres. for another few years so can take a breather hahahaha.

30th December 2011 - 1st January 2012
went to genting with my family!!!
It has been a long time since we went overseas even to malaysia)
5/6 years? hahaha.
thats why I was quite happy ((:

first day was nothing much.
driving all the way up, breakfast @ Johor, then another 5 hours of sleep.
hahaha I remembered that our car didn't have enough power can moved so damn slowly uphill hahaha.
then I had to go and pee and got off at a temple and it was so cool up then. (as in pun intended)
the view was breathtaking really ((:

second day, spent @ theme park!!!!!!
though it started raining halfway, which allowed us to go and have lunch if not we'd have continued playing on!
hahaha and my mum didn't want to go on any rides and so she just sat there and waited for us. (: so sweet hehe.
and I tried to enter the casino and act like I was above 21!
But I got caught and my response was "huh I thought 18 can enter liao!???"

anyway, 3rd day was back to singapore ((:
went to strawberry farm, tried bird nest ice cream, as well as streamboat hahahaha shiok!!
shopped for cny goodies as well, and ate herbal chicken yessss ((:
its really a nice holiday lah ((:

4th January 2012
met up with Zihui to get the GC i was going to buy from him, and for a run as well!
hahahaha wonder how he is doing in the army.
PES A leh siao siao hahahaha.

just kept talking after that and then we went for makan!
fish soup bee hoon below his house!
(trust me its one of the most shiok things around!!)
then went up his house watch tv and I left hehehehe.
wa really need to start organising outings with the 48th Boys!!

5th January 2012
It was my cousin's wedding, and as usual my family was late :P
hahaha happens every time there is something like this hahaha.
havn't had a wedding for quite some time too!
The food was good (: and well other than that everyone is growing up/aging fast huh.
and my other cousin (weijian) asked me to try for an overseas education.
hahaha made me think through all my plans again. which is good in some sense.
but in other sense (cents) it is bad LOLOLOL.

7th, 14th and 15th January 2012
Went for my kayaking Star 2 course with Chris, Daniel, Loisa and a few of the 33rd coy guys!
haha it was awesome fun!!!!
refreshing what i have learnt in star 1, star 2 stuff, and even abit of star 3 stuff!
damn cool you know. like I wanna continue to star 3 and try kayaking surfing and all these stuff cause the coach was telling us about it and showing us videos of it!!

and I learnt alot of physics from this course as well.
effect of boat design on ability to flip, the tides, winds, water currents, etc
all these complex variables that make up our experience while kayaking.
its like, so awesome hahaha.
and I witnessed for myself diffraction of waves. (cause at low tide the waves will intefere with one another and maxima and minima of dirt and rubbish can be seen haha so damn awesome)

gonna try and find some kayaking buddies to complete the 5 expeditions I need to do, practice star 2, and go on to star 3.

8th January 2012
went to beach road to grab my bootes with Ms Koh (haha we got lost halfway)
next went back to serangoon for brunch with leona, bridget, jien, cherp, and zeke.
then went for zeke's church service.
hehehehehe.

9th/10th January 2012
(can't remember which day it was hahahaha)
went back to zhss for fun with jj, leona and bridget but apparantly all the teachers were busy with release of o level results hahaha.
well my juniors did well.
100% of 4E eligible for JC, so really its a remarkable achievement.
though they were short of 0.2 to make band 1 (like always hahah)

next, had bb day rehearsal.
well, nothing much to comment on here.
Just that the school is really damn protective of the students.
sigh.

12th, 13th January 2012
My first camp with Camp high achievers!
Deyi Sec 2D non-residential camp.

Partnered with Vicki whom i got to know from OJT.
hahaha he's such a funny guy!!


for this school, the students were difficult.
I swear hahahaha.'


anyway, the camp went well, got my first taste of kids after so long, and tried my best for this one hahaha.
and I got a commendation from the teacher mwahahahahah.
my guess is that it is because of this that I got all the difficult schools I guess.
but oh well, doesn't matter, cause I learnt alot from this (:

got to know Cheif Zhihao, Chief Amily, Guifang, Yan Mae, Thomas, Gerald, Hilman, Cher-E, Kendra, Amira, and Asad!

17th January 2012
had a class outing that day! went to play badminton and slackeddddddddd to no end
then went for lunch. and everyone was talking about how tanned I was hahahaha.
imagine when i'm in the army :O (looking at how tanned tiong ann is now..)
then went to this place (the jap restaurant) and played werewolf hahaha
(walao the game can really keep us occupied for ages i swear)
that was when our dear Mr Goh TA dropped by to claim a geog textbook from joshua before leaving again hahahaha.

Then went for guitar dinner @ pizza hut cause Nadia came back from indo for a short while!
TEEHEE ^^
sat with my fav Jonathan heng and made the whole place freeze hahahahaha.
but dinner was good lah (: hehehehe.

18th January 2012
went swimming without googles cause I forgot to bring it
bad experience i swear
eyes sore for the next 2 days ):

19th January 2012
went down to chinatown with my mum to help buy cny goodies!!
and to be honest no festive feel leh.
even my mum thinks so!!!

next up was reuinion dinner which was good cause got crab!!!!
hahahahaha

20th January 2012
visited TJ  in the morning (though it was quite fail cause only a few people turned up)
(curse that hanren hahaha organise then went missing ): then threw everything to me ): )
saw most of the teachers ((: haha everyone's busy with the new year I guess.

and we only found out santosa got a job in school that day!!!!!!!!!!!
idiot never tell us ): hahahahahaha.

next, jerrie asked everyone if they wanted to play badminton after that but everyone wasn't free so only I went to crash there.
met adrian low who is my ex-primary school classmate there omg hahahaha
everyone there was tms except for him and me so I was like 'yayyy'
and yup so had dinner after that and it was fun lah ((:

21st and 22nd January 2012
spring cleaning. nuff said.

23rd and 24th January 2012
CNY day 1 and 2!!
visited relatives etc etc.
hahahaha and angbaoooo.
visited my newly-wedded cousin's house as well.
there was alot of food there too. (k thinking about the food is making me hungry so lets move on)

26th January 2012
soccer with hanren zuhair etc at tampinese safra hahahaha.
we were up against mx and his sec school classmates.
well don't ask me why I went cause it was hanren who pulled me there.
yup the game was okay lah.
I conceded 3 goals (whats new) and yeah lah lousyyyyyyyy lah i know hahahaha.

lunch with mhr and zuhair the ahbang and reynold heng after that @ chicken rice shop at Bedok point
omg value for money. really shiok ttm.

meet up with jj titus and gang after that hahahaha.
went to zf's house after that (crashed his house!!)
and his mum was so nice. $12 angbao to each of us, and even treated us to pizza hut.
and we didn't even bring a damn orange to bai-nian cause crashing his house was a last minute decision haha.
but yeah lah good fun (:

29th January 2012
went to mr ang's house for cny visitation!!
ubber fun ((:
this was a successful class outing cause most came HAHAHA (k unlike the other one -.-)

played werewolf!!! haha okay this was very fun cause it was a big group!
and then louhei + celebrated Jan baby birthdays!

and hanren slammed his cake into joshua's face.
and joshua did the same just that the cake flew around hahahaha.
then I swear Mrs Ang's suddenly changed her face hahahah so funny.

anyway, Mr and Mrs Ang brought us down for dinner and helped to pay for most of our food!
so nice right. haha dunno how much of their money we spent that day so paiseh.
Anyway, thanks again to Mr and Mrs Ang!

30th January 2012
some of us from the class met up @ city area cause the night before during dinner, rachael pung actually promised to give us a treat during her lunch time at work!
so we went, (expecting her not to treat us cause were were only joking) but in the end she paid for our meal.
(well our doesn't include me cause I overslept and didn't buy HAHAHA)

anyway, the bunch of us (joshua, yeshen, zuhair, cass and vivi) went off to esplanade park to talk.
hung around there for quite a bit, and then moved on to mbs!
haha MBS is such an awesome place lah.
stayed there for hours and talked.

well, then for dinner, we went to marina square and talk again hahaha over dinner.
sigh all the gossip and all the stuff I didn't know -_-
hahaha everyone was laughing at how I didn't know a thing ):
but it was fun lah (:

1st - 3rd February 2012
It was now time for my second camp!!
Kranji secondary school! hahaha.

didn't know what to expect cause it was my first JBAC camp.
Partnered Divya who was such an awesome mirror! (oh mirror is the term we use for partner haha)
and it turns out that Divya was from TMS and was from jerrie and cass's class hahaha so coincidental.
and she complained that teckyan's geog and maths was good even in sec school AHAHHAAH.
such a small world!!

It was the first JBAC camp for the both of us actually.
and we were assigned the 3T class hahahaha.
so we really didn't know what to expect etc.

and to be honest it was quite a discouraging camp for me.
first day was veryyyyyyy bad hahahahaha cause they didn't want to open up to me ):
second day was better ((:
and I lost my voice after that. on the first damn day. so no voice for the other 2 days.
but still, campfire kinda screwed up, and we (Divya and I) had to help save the show for a bit lol.
the kids were okay. in fact they were very good! (considering that 3T students were better behaved than some 3E and 3N etc)
and they had little problems whatsoever during campfire preparation sessions.

but its mostly due to things that were out of our control.
like how low their self-esteem was (sigh) and how outcasted they feel from the whole school (cause 3E all know each other from sec 2, 3N all brother classes, and 3T all alone) and the tension in the class that has built up for 3 years, as well as how childish they were (sigh well who am I to judge right)

and at one point of time I got so angry at them that Chief had to step in for me.
had to drink water to cool myself down and almost exploded.
but well, dunno why but it was then that I started thinking and I was able to talk to them in a way I never did before.
which I hope helped them in one way or another lah.
I was quite surprised with myself actually cause I would never have thought that I'll be able to think of such stuff to speak about. and I was so honest with them. no barriers, just them listening to me.

well, thank God for their good form teachers.
I've told them whatever I wanted to, and I really hope they'll take it away lah.
though from facebook (they added me and I accepted but removed again) chances are they'll still carry on quarrelling, I hope that they will take something back from me and move on.

anyway, so glad to have done this camp cause I got to work with these awesome instructors!
Chief Liptat, Chief Zhihao, Kelvin Lam, Naga, Divya, Fydie, Glinnis, Charis, Xiangting, Lyron, Haritz, Yuan Ning, Sean, Xuan Er and Yi Long!

and omg so coincidental hahaha Yilong is actually my primary school mate's brother SO COOL never knew until we were talking about where we stayed HAHAHAHA.

3rd February 2012
after the Kranji sec camp
crashed mass dance @ suntec hahaha.
okay lah nothing much there cause mass dance this year was cut short ):

went to walk walk after that with santosa, reynold, mak han ren and zuhair hahaha.
they were so annoying hahaha. like shouting to a ogm saying "woah that girl pretty sia" and oplaying the penis game -_- hahahahaha
and we walked from suntec to MBS and we went to play with the fountain or whatever you call it.
slacked a while, then went off.
by that time i was sooooooooo tired cause I was carrying my bag from camp as I walked hahaha and we walked quite a lot okay!

4th February 2012
we dropped by teckyan's house for cny visitation!! ((:
ah didn't have voice at all ): cause of the camp lah walao hahahaha.

anyway, drank a bit of alcohol, got drunk started laughing at myself for no reason (eh cannot control one leh) then fell asleep. woke up and I was fine hahahaha.

played werewolf again!!! hahahahaha.
and yeah lah just slackedddd.

after that went to have dinner and gossip + talk again.
+ played all the stuff like shag marry kill HAHAHAHA.

and we went home hehehehe.

7th, 9th-11th February 2012
7th was the Pre-camp briefing (PCB) for Bartley sec school camp.
had to go down to JBAC for PCB cause now we need certification for low elements ):
also had belay school and land expedition briefing.
and it was awesome cause Shafi was there driving us around and was entertaining us.
yup had a good day.

then stayed on for a bit for the CHIJ OLON campfire before going off to makan with everyone!

9th-11th was the camp.
got to mirror Zena who is also from MJC hahaha.
she's a very strong mirror.

anyway, the group was okay lah.
tried my best to make them interact with each other hahaha.

activities were fine, except for the fact that a student got injured cause he rolled the zipline trolley over his foot. -_-
oh well.

lol I'll never forget how Mr Chin (the teacher IC) wacks his students leaders.
first time seeing commando style in a school camp.

I was meal IC for this camp! and everyone kept making fun of me cause i kept using 'ok' as a filler in between my sentences ): walaooooo.
but I enjoy being meal IC at JBAC hehehe ((:

Anyway, best female camper came from my group!
her name is xiuhui!
and it turns out that she knows my bro leh -_- (see told you small world)

and instructors for this camp are awesome cause all damn strong!!!!!!!!!!
love having supper chats with them etc hehehehe so nice!!!!!!!!!

Chief Naj, Chief Liptat, Zena, Cass Tay, Kellie, Lyron, Gerald, Yingjie (Rose!), Sharan, Khairul, Thomas, Xiangting, Danielle, and Atiqah!

17th February 2012
Did a 1 Day camp with Siling Primary School (P4) under Chief Ridhwan @ Labrador Adventure Center.
hahaha the place damn crappy lah lol.

the kids were so enthusiastic!!!!!!
(k maybe except a few -_-)

haha nothing much to comment on the day, I only got this camp cause I was helping Zena do this camp as her replacement!
well, except for the fact that the p4 team of teachers were so damn anal.
(k shall abstain from bitching too much cause this blog is afterall, public)

but the instructors were fun as well!
Mirrored Riana.
and the camp had Kelvin Lam, Sharan, Shelly, Vicky, Divya, Jiahui, Fydie, together with Chief Ridhwan and Chief Zhihao! (plus a few more whom I forgot :P)

It was so funny cause the kids kept calling Riana and I a couple -_-
just because we talk doesn't mean couple righttt lameee.
haha say until what I earn money until so much white hair -_-

anyway, after the day, we went back to toa payoh on the company van which kept stalling.
we even stopped in the middle of a road AHHAHAHA. (so exciting!)
we then went to makan at macs and talked about all kinds of stuff.
from Ridhwan's police days to EFI courses.
hehehehe.

after dinner 4 of us (vicky, ridhwan, fydie, and I) hung around a park and just talked about alot of stuff.
hahaha like teachers, fellow camp instructors, etc.
and I went home with ridhwan after that (who also lived in hougang) and learnt quite alot about sports science! hahaha cool stuff!!

22nd - 25th February 2012
22-24 was the siling primary school (p5) camp and 24-25 was the ITE west camp.
I was so stressed cause there were so many firsts.
First sarimbun camp, First residential Primary school camp, First camp with an tertiary education institute.

Again, the siling kids never fail to disappoint us with their enthusiasm!
mirrorred sally for this camp!
who taught me all I needed to know for sarimbun.
so thankful for her you know hahaha.
(I damn blur, told the kids the girls toilet was boys, and boys was girls HAHAHAHA)
(but got tell the correct one lah HAAHHA)

but other than that no major hiccup hehehe. (except for all the dalls ): )

and it was so awesome cause we even had the chance to bring the kids out to watch the stars!
If it wasn't for some kids who were sleepy, I would have talked more about stars hehehe (:

and one thing I learn from this camp would be that I have to make whatever isn't within my control, into my control in order to perform well. (thanks sally!)

Anyway, I'm so thankful for Chief Ridhwan, Chief Zaini, Sally, Hilman, Fydie, Constance, Guifang, Andrea, Yan Mae, Vicky, Din, Nick, Rasul and Huihui who are really all so awesome really.
For all the encouragement and etc. and also for asking me not to panick! hahahaha.

and especially to sally who helped to take over my group because i had to leave for ITE west on 24th morning!

anyway, ITE west wasn't a very pleasant camp.
it wasn't THAT bad, but it most definitely could have been better!

my journey there was -_-
don't even wanna mention it hahahaha.
woke up late, but because it was near 7, no taxi wanted to take me.
waited until after 7 before I could reserve a Cab, but the driver blur cock cannot find me ):
hahaha but in the end I hopped on to another cab and pangseh my driver MWAHAHAHA.

k anyway, ITE kids are mature lah, but they are not enthusiastic.
half-hearted come this camp... so nothing much that I could do.

but anyway, one of the girls shouted "what-the-fuck" in my face and no one really does that and goes away unpunished HAHAHA.
but I couldn't scream in her face cause her bf (chao ah lian -_-) was in the same class (my group also) so i was damnnnnn siannnnnnnn.

anyway, the camp was still good cause of the instructiors!!
Chief Naj, Chief Zhihao, Cass Tay, Gerald, Sharan, Hassan, Hussein, Fie, and David!
_____________________________________________________________________
anyway, I'm so glad to be able to work with this company.
haha. especially the few whom I've done a few camps with, like Vicky, Fydie, Cass Tay, Sharan, and Gerald! ((:

hope to be able to do more camps next time, though most likely it'll be with a different team of instructors ):
but yeah hope to keep in contact with the others!

I already planned out what I wanna do already hehehe (:<
_____________________________________________________________________

anyway, I've started a little on uni physics and linear algebra, and its not easy.
sigh shall wait for everyone to enter uni and ask for textbooks or something to continue.
now no time....

next pressing issue: scholarship essay and results!
whats done is done so.. oh well ):
_____________________________________________________________________

anyway, plans for the coming week!

movie with vivi zuhair Teckyan cass jiahong later in a few hours time!
(lol can I wake up early enough for breakfast with them? :O)

Results on friday!!!
Running with Melvyn Sim in the morning! so long since I've seen him!

Parade on Saturday to help the PAA with their applications.

Sentosa on Sunday with fellow camp instuctors, before dinner with leona bridget and junjie! ((:

don't know when the next time i'll write here will be, especially since I'm going into army soon, but I really hope it is soon, to commemorate my good results! (:

anyway, its almost 6, so cya!!
(how to wake up later siaaa)

Money.

hello everyone, its been a month. a busy month. haha.
wanted to blog about the many things that happened (was out almost every other day) but guess I'll leave it to another day.
having sore eyes from not bringing my goggles just now and was woken up from my deep slumber, not in the mood right now I guess.


just wanted to share these two contrasting blog posts I saw from two people whom I thought were friends.

I think if i weren't a christian and never met God or encountered him i would probably.....


-be one of the meanest girls around my friends (in terms of judging/giving comments/hate words)
when i start argueing at rage mode....hmm.. it's like i become an intellectual chao ah lian HAHAHAAA.

-have a tattoo :O
ikr..............

-actually get into bitch fights...

-actually be childish enough to do the whole "high school lameass back stabbing, hating, bullying" shit.
to those that i hate anyway...

-damn vulgar ohmygoodness the horror right?

-have serious anger management issues

-be doing various night activities

and etc. my brain not working can't think of more.

But now that i know that the above is SO wrong........
i have to fight the above mentioned urges every. single. day. without. giving. in.

Being a christian is hard but it's rewarding.
for one, you get to live forever and ever after you die.
and sometimes you're more mature than the same aged people around you.
then cool things start happening and you suddenly feel very blessed.
but then people start being jealous and hate on you being holy moly.
and then you'll need to go through tough times where people hate you because you're a christian or your parents don't allow you to be one.
or maybe you'll go through temptations and then you see other people like having fun then you also wanna have fun.
but these obstacles makes us into a stronger person, helps us grow up.
There'll be ups and there'll be downs.
How will you react to it? Will you keep the faith and trust in God or will you only trust in Him if things are going your way?
Will you talk to God everyday or only when you got that feeling then you talk.

Yeah, sometimes we slip once in a while.
doing things we regret.
Others decides that it's too tough and just stop.

But whatever.
The point is....................
.
.
i need to sleep.


Um no, is that.....the above blog post is irrelevant because no matter what we do to convince some people to stop hating on us they will hate on us as said in the bible.

So goodluckhavefun and hope you encounter God and his i-also-dk-how-to-describe-supercoolamazing LOVE.

and the next one:

I don't know how these people do it; they badger they bug they tug at you even though you push them away numerous times. I'm not saying this in an optimistic way. In fact, I'm saying this in a slightly annoyed/disgusted way. It's as if they are PROGRAMMED to bug you until you become one of them.


No, I do not want to go to church. I will go when I want to.


That aside, regarding the supposed accusations of 'hypocritical' Christians. I honestly don't think anyone on earth would be hypocritical enough to praise God and curse at the same time (considering how they constantly spy on each others' actions). Maybe they used to do it BEFORE they went back to church? But they've changed once they went back? I don't know. But the fact remains that they've done it.. disgustingly.. and kept it under the wraps.. pretending like they're of high moral standing now that they're Christians again.. gah.


p/s if you have nothing to talk to me about apart from JUSTIFYING the church's actions/asking me back to church, please don't even talk to me. At all.


P/p/s I don't mean to say this in a way that I'll NEVER go back to church. But when I do, I want it to be because I love God. I don't want it to be a response to your badgering/to get you off my back.

don't get me wrong if you know who they are, I just found their blogs by chance.
I understand where the first person is coming from, but I'm on the second person's side. 
(my status is currently similar to that of the second person's)


and to be perfectly honest, even though I acknowledge all that God has done for me, 
I still think the first post is very self-righteous.
(see I'm judging here)


something that happened a few weeks ago made me feel so disgusted with the church.

not all churches per se, just some churches and their christians. (not gonna generalise here)

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
- Mohandas Gandhi

Its late already, I guess I shall leave it to you readers to think it over.