I guess you are wondering what I'm doing online at home on a weekday when I should be in camp.
well, grandma passed away yesterday morning at the ripe old age of 91 .
got up for her usual cup of coffee, went back to sleep and never woke up again.
I only got hold of the news yesterday night, so booked out immediately.
kind of upset me that I got hold of the news so late, but its my own fault I guess.
shows my commitment to my family huh.
It is really sudden you know, saw her like a few weeks ago and she was still fine.
When I switched on my phone yesterday night and received the message, I really went 'what the fuck'.
couldn't believe it.
I remember telling myself to cherish everyone around me just 2 blog posts ago, and just when I was about to do something, these things happen.
I'm always too slow huh.
booked out, and the people on guard duty were like "shiok ah can book out"
I didn't want to take leave, not this kind of leave at least.
and thursday being ippt, I guess I screwed myself over.
missing out on days of pt, will have to catch up myself.
need to start trying my best and stop being such a sore loser.
need to change.
getting today and tomorrow off.and friday being good friday, and monday being block leave, I have almost a week off camp.
better make it productive though i'll be busy helping out at the wake.
went for the funeral, everyone was alright.
I guess everyone kind of saw it coming, especially with all that has been happening.
second uncle's death, third uncle's stroke, and fourth uncle going bankrupt, all in one year.
but the thing is now that grandma's gone, I think that hell's gonna break loose.
hope what I foresee won't come true.
gonna have to give my mum more support than what I am giving right now.
second funeral in this 6 months. don't want another one.
the sight of someone lying in there isn't a pretty one.
the thick make-up doesn't actually cover how pale and lifeless the body is.
there's still so much about life I don't know.
they say grandma passed away peacefully, but did she really have peace when she went?
I don't know, but hope she's fine, and if there's a heaven, I hope she doesn't bring all her troubles there.
The past week at camp was good.
pt pt and pt, and did technical handling of the SAR21 the past 2 days.
I guess it is easier to handle things when you understand its basic principles. (for both the SAR21 and physics haha)
nus science accepted me last thursday. (submitted my choice on sunday. first time so efficient)
had a talk with dad just now about my course.
well, he's not actually against physics, he is just against the scholarship I want. (he doesn't want me to teach)
I guess I didn't communicate properly to him about my interest in CAG and SIA scholarship so its my fault.
trying out only next cycle.
Had RT last saturday so booked out late.
and while booking out, along the ferry terminal, I told sean 'the shore is really pretty!'
and he said 'no, it is so barren!'
I disagree with how he thinks though.
Just because it is barren doesn't mean it cannot be beautiful.
like mountains or sand dunes, it can be barren and beautiful at the same time.
oh, and talking about this, ns is such a funny experience.
I get to meet people everywhere.
I get to see hanren everyday (cause he is just the next company), see dylan everyday (duhhh HAHAH).
but it is not just them. I see primary school friends, secondary school friends, jc friends, BB friends, all in camp.
and the funny thing is, sometimes they all know each other too haha.
and the tekong nightsky is beautiful.
can see so many stars (:
oh, sum41 actually has a new album.
didn't realise until dylan and jinjie were talking about music in camp.
this is my favourite song off the album, hope you like it too.
Hold me now, 'cause I couldn't even if I tried,
It's over now,
I guess it really is my time,
I don't wanna go,
but it's time I got to say goodbye,
So, hold me me now,
'cause this will be our last time.
I'm slowing down and I don't think that I can fight,
I know some how you'll find a way to live your life,
Remember just to live every day like it's your last,
And hold me now,
'cause I think it's time for me to pass.
I don't want to die,
I don't know why, this kind of fate was meant for me.
You got to be strong,
got to move on, it's not how it was 'sposed to be.
And what do I say,
it was never supposed to end up this way,
What do I have to do,
was I supposed to grow old with you?
But that ain't gonna happen,
No, that ain't gonna happen.
Hold me now,
'cause the time I've got's running out,
No tears allowed,
even though we've become without,
I just want to feel your head laying on my chest,
So hold me now,
as I take my last breath.
I don't want to die,
I don't know why,
this kind of fate was meant for me.
You got to be strong,
got to move on, it's not how it was 'sposed to be.
And what do I say,
it was never supposed to end up this way,
What do I have to do,
was I supposed to grow old with you?
But that aint gonna happen,
No, that aint gonna happen.
gonna go down to help out now.
she's getting cremated on saturday.
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