"Four In!"

Hello everyone.
back from camp on friday and booking in in 3/4 hours time!
a very short one before I continue with uni app and scholarship stuff.
blogging helps to reflect and set goals for this coming week, so... here I go!


anyway, confinement week was fun, army gets a little boring sometimes (k maybe boring is really an understatement) but at least the people are great. haha.
can't talk too much about it here.
I'm alright with being confined HAHA just that it gets a little too long.


life is good there. food is good, water parade daily, get my daily dose of vitamin D from the sun, and we don't have to wash our plates HAHAHAHA (wakao really makes me feel spoiled)


just get irritated with people who 1) are bloody blurr cocks but pretend to know everything, 2) people who whine, and 3) people who don't bother putting in effort.
but there are always people out there like there so have to bear with it.


anyway, I enlisted, got to know my bunk mates. (who I think are very nice people), have fantastic platoon sergeants, a experienced buddy.AND I love my OC. CPT Fong is really a great man. Vulgar-free man (I swear it takes a lot of discipline not to scold vulgarities in the army), and so inspiring. He majored in social work haha so cool. and I vaguely remember seeing him in some brightsparks scholarship magazine. gonna dig it out when I have the time!


anyway, first quote from him on the first day: "Pain is weakness leaving the body."
gonna let it stay with me.
continue fighting on.


played many games as well! averaging once a week. captain's ball, frisbee etc.
oh and we were playing tug-of-war on friday for games and it is such a great game. CPT Fong told us he loves tug-of-war for many reasons. lots of lessons to be learnt. starting right, working as a team, strategy.
but the most important lesson from the game which he taught me, was that tug-of-war is called tug-of-war for a reason. its because it really is so much like war. it only takes one mistake to spoil the game.
and that was when i suddenly realise that I cannot be as wishy-washy as how I used to be last time. need to change. make no room for any mistakes.


got my rifle (was quite scared of the whole thing about the rifle honestly. this bloody thing can kill), saw the power of it in the demo at the range. road marched twice for 3km which was pretty no kick and fun haha. looking forward to more road marches and etc.


did many more stuff too. alot of PT (I swear I have never sweat so much in my life before), swimming lessons ((((: and a lot of sleepy lectures (WALAO and we have elearning and homework too wtffffffff)


I'm no longer as sharp as I was last time. I don't whether it is because I really became more blurr or if it is attributed to my lack of discipline. got to stay sharp and aware really.


met up with joshua, martin, teckyan, cass and vivi ytd @ starbucks. met up with tiong for a short while before that to get my nus open house stuff as well. haha. and we just talked (: like talking cock HAHAHA.


busy with uni apps and stuff, esp the scholarship stuffs.
still not done yet omggggggg kill me...


Parents are against me studying physics and I even quarrelled with them over it. I see where they are coming from and I compromised by saying that I'll change, just that I need time to think about it. but they refuse to listen so I dun care anymore. gonna put it as first choice. bleh. :P


Quite unwilling to enlist because I have lots of things I want to do outside here.
But these two weeks have been a timely reminder for me to differentiate between what I need and what I want. it not easy to accept but no choice but to 'lan lan suck thumb' lol.


I got angry with people at some point of time in there and I'm sure I angered many people lol but oh well. better quit my short temper and deflate my ego a little before I get into big trouble with others.


anyway, for the first few days after I enlisted, I was very distracted cause i wanted to continue whatever I was doing at home. listening to lectures and studying etc. really forgot everything I've learnt already (and its only been 2-3 weeks D:) and I really felt quite sian.
(but k lah if I can forget whatever I learn, it means that I havn't actually learnt, mastered and understood it hahaha)
but I just wanted to get out of all the boredom.


but then, I thought of Richard Feynman, and all the exciting physics and things I wanted to learn.
but suddenly, I was reminded of what he said:

"Tell your son to stop trying to fill your head with science — for to fill your heart with love is enough."
- Letter to the mother of Marcus Chown, who had been fascinated with the profile of him on the BBC show Horizon in 1981, written after Chown asked him to write her a birthday note, thinking it would help him in his attempts at trying to explain scientific things to her. Published in No Ordinary Genius : The Illustrated Richard Feynman (1996), by Christopher Simon Sykes, p. 161.

That was when i realised that whatever I wanted to do wasn't so important after all.
I lost my focus.

The only reason why I respect Feynman and many other people like Carl Sagan so much is because of their personality and character, and insights. not the science they do.

and I suppose it is time for me to look at what I want to focus on, to review myself and whatever values I have, and most importantly, to fill my heart with love again.

I might not want this, but I most definitely need this, so I hope I come out a better man after all this.

like CPT Fong says, we can do alot of things with very little time. it is just up to us; whether we are disciplined or not. and whether we want to. Things like long term and short term goals, and even our personal vision and mission; they are all very important.
so gonna take some time to think about this. haha.

oh nice, finished this post in 30mins. fastest post ever.
haha cyaaaaaaaaaaa. got to return to doing uni apps (omg why is this thing so long)