BRB.

Been neglecting this space again for so long. HAHA what could be more surprising.

But anyway, wanted to write more about Laos and my goals for this year here, but deadlines are always haunting me. But I guess I'll have three months next to do more writing, so I suppose that'll have to wait.

Main takeaway from the past few months and Laos, is that I really should learn to take things easy.

And wow writing here feels so good haha. Pleasure is in the act of writing itself, where the words just flow. Especially when I have mental block for my term paper and words just get stuck, so having words flow (albeit not as coherent;y as I'd like it to be) feels great.

But yeah, have a few things in mind that I'd want to do during the next three months break, so will write here more often.

WILL BE BACK SOON.

High Hopes

Broken bottles in the hotel lobby
Seems to me like I'm just scared of never feeling it again
I know it's crazy to believe in silly things
But it's not that easy

I remember it now, it takes me back to when it all first started
But I've only got myself to blame for it, and I accept it now
It's time to let it go, go out and start again
But it's not that easy

But I've got high hopes, it takes me back to when we started
High hopes, when you let it go, go out and start again
High hopes, when it all comes to an end
But the world keeps spinning around

And in my dreams, I meet the ghosts of all the people who have come and gone
Memories, they seem to show up so quick but they leave you far too soon
Naïve I was just staring at the barrel of a gun
And I do believe that, yeah

But I've got high hopes, it takes me back to when we started
High hopes, when you let it go, go out and start again
High hopes, oh, when it all comes to an end
Now the world keeps spinning
Yeah, the world keeps spinning around

High hopes, it takes me back to when we started
High hopes, when you let it go, go out and start again
High hopes, oh,
And the world keeps spinning
Ooh, yeah, this world keeps spinning

How this world keeps spinning around

Take Care, Take Care

I used to leave no notification unchecked - Whatsapp, messenger, email, whatever. But ever since the passing of XXX, I've stopped checking or carrying on conversations as much. I've stopped promptly replying to things. I've left more things hanging and unattended to. I've stopped doing a lot of things that would ideally provide any form of catharsis. I've stopped writing or taking care of my artist or really, myself. I've stopped doing anything remotely creative. I turn up for things as planned, and submit work that is necessary. I don't know what to do in social situations. I've never really known how to make small talk, and I'm even worse at it now. I actually really am an internal ball of anxiety on a day-to-day basis. I feel big emotions within me that sprint very quickly from one to another. From anger to grief to jealousy to immense joy and back down to absolute loneliness. Other times, I generally just feel a sense of disconnect. And maybe all these has something to do with their passing and maybe it doesn't. And that's okay, I'm working on it. Somehow.

Let's do better.

Its hot as hell today.

Been reflecting on the past semester, and to be honest, I feel a tinge of regret about how things actually turned out.

The things I regretted were mostly academic, like how I didn't write my report for SP3172 properly, or giving a shit about PC2130 (QM) or SP3175 (The Earth).
But I guess I wouldn't have had the motivation to do so even if I went back in time.

This semester has reflected a general lack of self-discipline in my life, and I realise that I really need to get my shit together HAHA.

But I guess its okay; that we all slip sometimes and we lose our purpose along the way. What matters is that we find it, and we carry on. Feel strangely re-energised after everything ended, and I'm really looking to the next semester.

On another note, I've been thinking about how isolated I've been feeling recently, and that I'd actually be very lonely without Booraya. I suppose I have other friends, but everyone is busy with their own lives and I don't really want to burden them with my emotional baggage haha. I'd give alot more to be able to spend time with them, but I don't wanna get clingy. Because things never turn out well when I get clingy.

But nvm, need to focus. For now, its damage control for this semester, and lets do better for the next sem :)

Lets go :)

Moving on.

So, today was the final day I have left before holiday activities start and the mad rush begins again. Spent it clearing my room, and disposing of my A level JC notes as well as notes from the past academic year.

Brought back some nostalgia. and looked through past photos as well. I've really changed I guess. Used to be really hot-headed and all in secondary school, but mellowed down subsequently during JC. I suppose I have to thank 24/10, without whom I would have stayed hot-headed and bad-tempered. Thank you guys for being so accepting and tolerant of my nonsense for the past 5 years.

I don't really know why I am writing this now, but I really miss everyone. And I'm really thankful for them, as well as how things turned out after we graduated. I would do several things differently if I were to have the chance to repeat the journey, but who knows what I'll change in the process huh.

Really, thank you guys, and miss y'all. Don't know how I'd manage without y'all.

Results in a few hours. Prep for USP OGL camp tomorrow, and SCAMP prep camp wednesday to friday. Let's go. :)

这些年，那些年。

请别让历史重演。

Caffeinated awareness.

And so, I thought I'd write something here.

It's in the wee hours of the morning, and I'm in the common lounge trying to brainstorm ideas for my writing mod. Its already the last day of school tomorrow (read: today), but I've felt that I've not accomplished much this semester because I've felt really burnt out throughout this semester.

I wasted my draft because I was caught up with all my other deadlines. And maybe because I procrastinated. A LOT. And so I'm now suffering the consequences.

I've been thinking a lot about a certain someone recently; someone whom I used to talk a lot to, but no longer keep in contact with. Its a strange feeling, because I sorta miss her presence and talking to her, and I keep thinking about our conversations during long bus rides home. Its been 5 years since we first met, and time really flashed by without our giving us due notice. And soon enough, another 5 years will flash by.

I've also been rethinking my priorities and my future plans, and I'm really reconsidering my pursuit of a research career. To be honest, I never had a doubt about pursuing scientific research as a career, because I felt like I could do physics for the rest of my life. However, events that happened the past year has led me to rethink whether this is really all worth it. So what if I knew what black holes do when they collide together? So what?

I've also been considering the prospect of falling in love with someone, committing to someone for the rest of my life, and settling down for good. Will I have enough energy and time to make her happy if I do pursue research? Will the 5/7 years I spend on a PhD be worth it? Will I neglect and sacrifice quality time with everyone I love? Just because I like black holes or galaxies or nebulae? Just because?

The past year has really changed me huh? But its good I suppose. I've really enjoyed myself the past year, and maybe my priorities changed and I don't want to give up anything anymore.

Anyway, its 5.36am now, so don't take my words too seriously here.

Here's hoping that my stars will align.

Here's a short post then. Ciaos.

Dream Big

Come'on, don't stop here.

take care, take care.

Was talking to someone that I would consider a good friend a few days ago. Apart from talking about music and post-rock (haha common interests), we talked about how we are doing now and random nonsense.

What really struck me was how crestfallen and jaded he was because he isn't doing so well even though he is trying very hard already. It reminded me that sometimes it is not all about trying your best, because what happens when you try your best, and you aren't good enough? How broken will you be when that happens?

Of course, it reminded me of how I felt when I didn't make the cut the last time, be it in tekong or for founders. And it reminded me that i should put in my best to achieve what I wanted.

So this is a reminder, that let's not take doing well for granted; work hard and try your best for the things you want. Need to remember this, especially since this semester will be tough.

So many people got filtered out of the education system, and we are here, at the very top. So let's not take it for granted.

Supposed to watch lecture and do quizzes for SP2174, but procrastinated and read manga instead. I'm tired, but let's make this effort worthwhile.

A short note.

Hi there. Not sure if anyone drops by this space anymore, but hi to whoever is reading this.

I've been wanting to write here for a very long time. Tried a few times, but words get choked up after two sentences.

Been going to school and out with friends the past week, and finally had time to sleep in today.

Woke up at 2, and been lazing around since. 

Mulled over what has been a hectic but quiet semester, and besides turning my sleep cycle upside down, the past six months since dad left made me develop a sense of self-pity. I kept on thinking that because life had dealt me bad cards, good cards will come along soon. I waited for bad days to pass, and happy days to come, and when happy days come, I waited for happier days to come. 

I just could not feel satisfied with what life gave me, and life felt sluggish and stagnant. The past week of outings and fun did cheer me up, and made me realise that if I want things, I have to make them. I want fun; make fun. I want time; make time. I want results; make results.

I'm sorry to people whom I've let down the past semester. Especially to closer friends.

Will try to be a more pro-active and happier person :)

Week 2.

It has been 3 weeks since school started! Haven't been writing here for the longest time, so here's an update!

1. Was initially on waiting list for Science O'Week '14, but I got in in the end! My OG's name was Boo (The baby girl from Monster Inc.), and had fun with them! The group was a little quiet at the start, but I think everyone opened up at the end :))) Had 8 Physics majors in my OG (MWAHAHAHA), so sorta had more common topics with these guys too. :))) Haiman and Kit, who were my seniors from scamp, were my seniors from sow too! Just glad that I had a good time. 

To top it all up, Boo got the best OG award (YAY), and got the best SP OG award too! Thank you everyone for giving me a good time at SOW, as well as at Night Rider, Flag Day and Rag day :)

2. My 2 month old laptop crashed on me after I returned from OWeek )': sent it for repair and hope nothing else happens :((((

3. Received news that i got into SPS while at Night Rider. (HAHAHA that was 4am in the morning.) News came through e-mail of course. So far, its been good. Attended SPS Camp last weekend, and met amazing people there. Deeply humbled by the way they work, especially while preparing for the final performance. Hope to have an interesting and fulfilling time with you guys!

4. Received my acceptance e-mail from USP on Thursday evening on week 1. Its a little late since I missed O-week and all, but I'm glad I made it. Will be moving into Cinnamon next week, so looking forward to meeting the people there. (Its been a tiring week ending lessons at 8-9pm, especially since I don't have a room yet ): )

I am intimidated by my workload, but tell me something worth pursuing that is not intimidating. This chance wasn't easy to come by, and I'll give it my best shot.

This time, the stakes are different.

Looking forward!

Update??

I went out to buy a laptop today. $999. 1k gone )': So while I'm updating the new laptop, I'm blogging on the old one.

Been spending a lot recently, its scary. Wonder how my savings can last me for the next four years in uni )':

USP hasn't replied me about my application. I'm really interested in their programme!! ): Oh well, there's still one last week, so lets hope for the best.

Its only been six days since I ended my contract at TJ, and I'm quite bored already. But I've set out to do several things so I hope I get to accomplish them.

Can't wait for life to start moving. Next big thing for me is Scamp, which is from the 16-20 June!! Looking forward to it :))))

Went down to A*STAR for my project on Tuesday, and yup a little setback there, but I learnt not to be daunted by the complicated symbols and equations etc.

Went out for a run just yesterday, and I've deproved a lot. Wonder how I completed that 21km last year. SIGH.

Went for an eye checkup at Ngee Ann Polytechnic today as well. One of the students at the Optometry Centre helped check my eyes, and I've been prescribed glasses. No more perfect eyesight.. HAHAH SIGH. Shall get them when I'm free too.

Came back home for lunch, before realising that there was an IT fair today, so went down to EXPO shortly after I finished lunch. Went down, hunted for a laptop, chop chop got out of the place. Don't like crowded places.

Anyway, LEMMI BITCH ABOUT WINDOWS 8!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRR

Oh wait.. my update is done. kthxbye HAHAHA.

Its been slightly more than 2 months since I've ORDed.

Been working on College Day back at TJ, and the work is alright.

Been making progress for my project at A*STAR. hopefully it'll turn out well.

Submitted my essays for USP and NUS Scholarships, and was granted an interview for USP on 7 April and an interview on 22 April.

Received a reply, and was awarded the Kent Ridge Undergraduate Scholarship on 29 April, one week after the interview. Really very privileged for the opportunity, and I will do my best.

Still waiting for USP's reply, but that is an bonus I guess. Interview for it didn't go very well (as seen from last post).

Well, gtg have work later.

can't wait for school to start. anticipating the start of school so much.

why do I always fuck my interviews up..

why why why?

A complete lack of honesty.

Its been some time since I've written properly on this space.

I've been fretting about what to write for my USP admissions essay. Despite me brainstorming for months and working on it since December, I've yet to identify a topic to work on. Its been almost 4 months, and it is so frustrating and worrying, but I can't do anything about it. I really tried so hard to start writing, but nothing comes out.

I don't know what the problem is, but I know this not my fickle mind at work. I've told many people about my inability to come up with something, and all of them told me the same thing. Write about something you really care and are passionate about. But I tried, and I just can't write.

I don't feel qualified to write about anything. ANYTHING AT ALL.

Not even something I care about. Not even Science. not even Physics.

I just feel inadequate to write. I am afraid to write and claim that I understand a certain topic.

Maybe I'm afraid that I'd be like the NUS interview all over again where the interviewers trashed me all over. The stakes are high this time; because I really want to get into the programme. It means a lot to me, and I am afraid.

I can't remember the last time I've been this afraid. I've never been this afraid before. Because I was a self-entitled person, it felt like I could get whatever I wanted. I didn't get everything, like the Founders' Award in Sec 4 (which was quite a big deal; made me cry for 2 weeks) and getting in VJ, but I had compensation, and became Best Boy and got into TJ. Other than that, I got whatever I wanted most of the time. Excellent O level results, leadership positions, awards, and decent a level grades.

The last two years was a different thing though. I failed time after time, again and again. It was like that for Command School; I really wanted to enter OCS/SCS so much. It was like that for NUS Scholarships; got trashed in the interview room. It was like that for Cambridge, and it was like that throughout my 2 years stay in 3DA.

I got afraid and questioned my self-worth, and realised that I'm not worth much in the first place. That is why I no longer feel qualified to write.

I didn't realise this at first. I thought that I was doing fine, because at the very least, I had a plan, and I thought I knew what I was doing. Things didn't look as bright anymore after I thought through my plans while doing my scholarship essays. I know I want to do Physics, but other than that, I don't know anything else.

Realising that I'm as lost as everyone else is a big shock, especially after two years of thinking through my plans, and about god, and everything else, and thinking that I have a clearer picture of things.

I will have to check my footing again, and hopefully I'll be quick enough not to fall.

While writing this post, I realised that I haven't written about how I felt for the past 3/4 years. Even when I was in TJ, most of  the posts that I were about what happened, and not about how I felt about it.

I haven't been this honest with myself for a very long time.

Its been a while.

Incomprehensible anticipation.

Anticipation.

Its been 2 months! Doesn't feel like it, but 1/6 of the year is over.

Told myself that this year will be a good year.

It will be so.

So far...

Received my driving license on my birthday :)

Spent countdown at Dylan's house and celebrated his birthday too.

Secured an attachment at A*STAR. Working on Primary Zinc/Air Batteries with Dr. Ge Xiaoming. Have to thank Ms Teo Yi Wen (IMRE's HR Officer) for replying to that e-mail :')

Celebrated Emm and Joshua's 21st Birthday, and went to surprise Pung at her house for hers too :)
Surprised Teck Yan at Changi Airbase cause he was down for guard duty on his birthday. Hope you liked the surprise!

Attended Darwin Day at UTOWN NUS with Joel. The talk sparked a little curiosity.

COSMOSSG! Neil deGrasse Tyson came to NUS :) Thanks Cass for inviting. :)

Attended Mak Han Ren's ORD Parade. HAHA basket ORD 2 weeks earlier than me.

Reynold Heng's 21st was spent watching lone survivour. I could guess rightaway that the soundtrack was by Explosion in the sky. :)

Sent Dylan and Abdullah off for studies in Aussie, and Jaime Goh off for her Exchange. Hope to se eyou guys soon! Sent Daniel off too. Hope you guys stay safe!

Visited Science Centre on Valentine's Day. Had a chance to look at Jupiter and 4 of its moons at the Observatory too. seems so surreal.

JJ's very belated birthday celebration. hahaha.

3DA is the worst place ever. Don't wanna elaborate; just wanna get out fast.
The regulars are nice people (most), but sometimes, planning is real bad sigh.

plucked all 4 wisdom teeth too. haha.

Been working on 3 scholarship essays and USP Essays for 2 months. It is so painful I wanna cry :'(\
Feel so unqualified to write on anything you know.. )': well.. gotta start somewhere.

Finished reading Inuyasha. (HAHAHA wanted to do that for a very long time)

ORD-ing this week. Starting work at TJ too. can't wait!

All will be well.

I wish you enough.

Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport as the daughter's departure had been announced. 

Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said:"I love you and I wish you enough.

"The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom." 

They kissed and the daughter left.

The mother walked over to the window where I sat.

 Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry.

I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?" 

"Yes, I have," I replied. 

"Forgive me for asking but why is this a forever good-bye?"

"I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said.

When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, "I wish you enough." 

May I ask what that means?" 

She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." 

She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. 

"When we said 'I wish you enough' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them". 

Then turning toward me, she shared the following, reciting it from memory,

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger

.I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye."

She then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person. 

An hour to appreciate them. 

A day to love them. 

And an entire life to forget them.

I wish you enough.

I'm afraid I'll forget.

Its been a while since I wrote something substantial here.

Happy 20th Birthday to myself I guess. hahaha.

Its been long. The past decade has seen so many changes. I knew time will pass, but it feels strange looking back.

Time works in a strange way - Like our actions and thoughts, moments don't seem to count until we put them together.

That is when one actually sees a bigger picture - the sum of the choices we made and the path we took.

Something like the mechanics of a particle and the path it traces out as time flows.

So many things happened during this 10 years, and even though I find myself changing so much so quickly, I think I will pretty much stay rooted to some insights that I have gained these ten years. (mostly insights that I have developed the past two years)

1. Truth that is founded on weak foundation will crumble easily. Have good thought habits - especially Integrity. Do not deceive yourself - you are the easiest person to cheat. Think for yourself.

2. Be curious. Question everything and accept nothing at face value. It'll bring you to many places. It may not be where you want to be, but it is where you should be.

3. Stay grounded in reality. (Of course, question what reality is first!)

4. Treat all ideas seriously, until proven absurd. Have the luxury of changing our minds. Suspend judgement until we have enough evidence, and change our minds if new evidence emerges.

5. Everyone has a common goal. Unite, and not divide. We are all connected; we are all one.

6. Say what you mean and mean what you say. 

7. Do as you want others to do.

8. Do not waste time.

9. Understand and appreciate diversity.
10. Above all, be kind. People may hurt you but always remember that everyone will hurt us. It is only a matter of who is worth it.

Thank you everyone who have impacted me the past 10 years.

6/8 friends, especially Aaron Liew, Aaron Kua, Jasmine, Huihui, Hui Mei, Joscelin, Evangeline, WeiFong, WeiYi, Cai Zijian, Ang YanLin, Lanxin. (and many others)
Our friendship was innocent, and it was real. I really thank you guys.

PPS Choir. It was fun with you guys.
SYF 2004, Bangkok, and the many other performances I've had with you all.
It was amazing to be able to sing in front of so many people at different places.

Advanced Friends - Gerald, Eng Han, Aik Meng and Zaff.
You guys are the best. I didn't make it to RI or Anderson, but it was the warmth you guys gave me that paved the way for many more friendships.

BB48th Coy. You guys have shaped me into who I am today. I am thankful. From a fat and depressed boy, you guys have helped me struggle. And though I did many things wrong, I'm glad that I made those mistakes then. To Officers and seniors, thank you for coaching me and helping me be more confident. The change was based on my own effort, but I wouldn't have done it without you guys spurring me on.

Bad Boys -Zihui, Joel, Chinhow, Benjamin, Melvyn, Titus, Jiajun and Puvan.
Thank you all for tolerating my nonsense all these years. (HAHAHA I don't think you guys have a choice either hahah)

ZHSS Choir. To be really honest, I loved my time there in sec 1 and 2 cause of the seniors.
Thank you batch of 2007 and 2008 for everything. Xinlin, JiaNee, Christopher, Mingying and Sylvia.
Jaslyn, Shiling, Cheeyew, Shaohan, Huibing,  All of you have been very kind to me.
Sec 3 and 4 was mostly full of awkward moments. But I'm thankful for everyone who pulled through with me. Sze Neng, Charlotte, Leona, Bridget, Junjie, Renjun, and the juniors - Luoting, Weining and Desmond,

Bus 82 gang. :)
From singing at the back of the bus to talking cock (which I would now consider unruly behaviour hahaha), I thank you guys for everything. It was good fun.

e5 friends - Cherpeng and Jaime. You guys have taught me an important lesson on regret. I wish you guys all the best for your lives ahead.
e5 - taught me that many things are beyond our control. I was so much of a control freak back then. Thank you for putting me back in my place. I will enjoy the rest of the show in my seat.

e3 - We had good times, especially during our class chalet. I really enjoyed myself then. Thank you guys, especially for the support leading up to the 'O's.
Thank you especially to Sibyl, whom I've not talked to for a very long time.
It was the first time anyone was willing to confide in me. I really thank you for your trust.
I'll be here if you ever need a listening ear.

And others in ZHSS.
Thank you Leechin, Tan Yun, and Shannen, and the many others who were kind to me.

TJC Guitar Ensemble.
The one and a half years with you guys past by too fast. Things might have been monotonous sometimes, but the company made it enjoyable. It was challenging picking up some new stuff, but I showed me that practicing right and having perseverance is important in mastering anything.
Thank you Seniors - Yuhang, Bagus, Lipin and Michael.
Bass section - Wanda, Priyanka,  and Denise, Lorraine (Contra), Ridhwan and leader Faiz :)
Exco - Ridhwan, James, Nadia, Elizabeth, Yen Peng, Sheng Hong, Hai Shan, Lorraine, Housheng, Abigail, and Faiz.
Junior Exco - Jonathan Quah, Sabrina, Jonathan Heng, Lum Jiahui, Alessandro, Vanessa, Joy, Ray.
And of course, the many other people.
Ira, Louis, Jessica, and many others who have been kind to me.
Thank you.

Kazer (Orientation'11) was the most high period of my life.
OGLs & Delta House Comm, it was great working with all of you guys.
OG 12 - OGLS Yannis, Jordan, Kaixin, Dylan, Deryn, Bing Lun, Jiahong,
You guys are the best team one could ask for. :)
I remember the night we went to Yannis's House to make cards.
So tired, but happy :)
OGMs too. I hope that I was a good OGL to you guys, and I hope that my jokes made orientation just a little bit funnier. I wish everyone the best for the next phase of life.

Friends from other classes..
Iddo, Brian, and many others who have been nice to me :)
Thank you for your kindness.

Teachers
PPS: Mrs Ng, Ms Ng, Ms Michelle Tan, Ms Ivy, Ms Ambrose, Mdm Madinah, Mrs Lee, Ms Siti Aisha.
ZHSS: Ms Rajinder Kaur, Mdm Jennifer Lum, Mr Turner Lam, Mr John Yeo, Mr David Wong, Ms Tan Seow Lan, Mr Low Kee Ley, Huang lao shi, Mrs Ngiam, Mrs E. Lim, Mrs Koh SH, Mrs Wong CS, Mr Hazry.
TJC: Ms Norsheha, Ms Cai, Jiang Rui laoshi, Ms Yvonne Awyong, Mr Han, Mr Elwin, Ms Jay, Mrs Eunice Toh, Ms Rita Wong, Mr Ang Wei Tiong.
(and others not mentioned)

Thank you all for your service to education.
I have received, and I'll pay it forward.

24/10.
I really don't know what to say, but you guys mean the world to me.

I remember the first day of school, when I talked to Robert in Gamma OG7.
First day of class in LT1 with Mr Han and running round the school with the puzzle pieces.
First Chemistry lesson with Rita Wong at the chem lab.
The first outing at orchard.
CG bonding day in the Geog room.
Rock jokes.
PW angst.
'DUDEEEEEEE'
Mass PE and stoning at the canteen buying Tauhuey.
Birthday celebrations.
The very fun Group PE when Joshua brought his camera.
'DOODOO!'
Supporting each other for our various concerts.
Playing taupok in year 1.
'Confucius says...'
Spending year 2 in the stinky classroom. :)

I thank you guys for the good times.
A levels was a mad rush, and you guys helped make it so much more bearable.
Even though it is difficult for all of us to meet each other now, I still hope that one day, everyone can make it.
As we move on with life, lets not forget the kindness each of us gave and received.

I love you guys.

Lastly, Dad and Mum,
Nothing I say here can do justice to the compromises you guys make just for me.
(I hope you guys don't consider it a sacrifice.)
I won't understand how it feels to have your ambition extinguished by circumstances.
Thank you for your love.

Dad, I'm still angry because of that punch so many months ago.
I know deep down, you still care.
I am sorry for being such a disappointment.
But I can't bring myself to talk to someone who despises me like that.
I'm sorry. You can fault me for that.

Sis, Bro.
Thank you for tolerating my nonsense.
I'm a bad sibling, I'm a bad son.
I'll try to do more for you all.

The next 10 years will be paramount in developing myself.
I'm happy I have the many opportunities ahead of me, and I promise not to squander it.

I'll pay it forward.



Here's to the next ten years.

Met up with joel today.

He a smart guy.

Really have much to learn.
Lets go lets go Lets go!