Take Care, Take Care

I used to leave no notification unchecked - Whatsapp, messenger, email, whatever. But ever since the passing of XXX, I've stopped checking or carrying on conversations as much. I've stopped promptly replying to things. I've left more things hanging and unattended to. I've stopped doing a lot of things that would ideally provide any form of catharsis. I've stopped writing or taking care of my artist or really, myself. I've stopped doing anything remotely creative. I turn up for things as planned, and submit work that is necessary. I don't know what to do in social situations. I've never really known how to make small talk, and I'm even worse at it now. I actually really am an internal ball of anxiety on a day-to-day basis. I feel big emotions within me that sprint very quickly from one to another. From anger to grief to jealousy to immense joy and back down to absolute loneliness. Other times, I generally just feel a sense of disconnect. And maybe all these has something to do with their passing and maybe it doesn't. And that's okay, I'm working on it. Somehow.

Let's do better.