Depressed.

Don't judge me. HAHA.

k This is the first kpop song that I like.
(all thanks to yunchang and guys blasting it in bunk every night haha)

kinda describes what a coward I am. haha.

(and junjie I know you're reading this don't judge me zzzzzzzz HAHAH)

(DONT JUDGE ME)

This week was tough.
well, mostly because I felt so depressed.
k the rest is in my journal already, so won't talk much about it now.

I'm IC for next week *dies*
hope everything will turn out well.

and I'm very stressed over my personal statement for UCAS.
can't seem to write anything. sigh.
gotta settle it fast! ):

sighhhhhhhh.

uninspired.

Dear God.

The only thing I ask of you.

Worry.

2.14am

1. I'm such a dick.

2. Still not started with personal statement.

3. I feel so inadequate. There are so many good people out there fighting and competing against me. What makes me more deserving than them?

4. If at this stage I'm still doubting myself I think its better if I don't apply.

5. I feel like shit.

6. I'm sleepy.

7. I have to find a way to convince myself that I can do it, and I must do it.

8. Its gonna be worth it. Just try. You have nothing to lose.

9. I've been thinking about you for a long time.

10. Shall let fate decide. God will do the maths and the universe will unfold itself.

2.24am.
Just got myself a pack of biscuits.

lets go.

Explosions in the Sky.

Been at home the whole day.
very unproductive, haha but well I guess it isn't that bad, considering that I need to relax and think.

been sitting in front of the com thew whole day, downloading stuff (mostly academic), and rearranging my music (haha new music ((: )

sigh I don't know how to start executing my plans ):

This week has been a very draining week, both physically and in other ways.
I'm not as strong as I thought I was.
looks like I overestimated again myself. haha.
well, its called training for a reason.

I'm starting to get very disgusted with people who are always trying to save their own asses ALL THE TIME.
I know I'm not prefect, but they are going too far.

I admit that I'm starting to get selfish myself, and I do act in my own interests sometimes, but they are really going too far.

It'll be tougher next week.
But nvm, hang in there.
Its called training for a reason.

Anyway, on a happier note, went out with the guys yesterday for fun haha.
Josh, MX, TA, Martin, MHR, Jiahong, Reynold and I went to watch Bourne Legacy.
Really action packed (I don't usually get sucked into the screen by gun and gunshots but I must say that the movie was good), but the storyline sucked.
HAHA BLEH.

Went to Marina Bay to watch fireworks after that (Reynold left for home to book in) and it was really spectacular.
Very impressed by the fireworks this year haha.

Then we went to walk around (tried finding mrt without crowd but failed so we kept walking round and round and round haha)

In the end, we ended up in Eunos eating Zi Char for dinner (at 10pm) hahaha.

Girls are starting school soon, so we NSFs are starting to get depressed HAHAHA.
well, hang in there.
First checkpoint is November 2012, second checkpoint is January 2013, third checkpoint will be March 2012 ( One Year soldier).
and hopefully time will pass faster from there (:

Still have a lot of things I wanted to do though.
Guitar, kayak, Study, Read, train.

Well, will start when I pass out from course.

In the meantime, I'll enjoy myself while I can.
long breaks like these (4 day weekend lol) don't come by very often. haha.

The only moment we were alone.

well, wanted to write a little, but i'm a little tired now.

NDP preview yesterday was awesome.
(Tiong Ann suddenly dropped me a message in the morning asking me to go)
This year's shows is one of the best in recent years. or maybe its just being there.

well, leaving house in an hour's time.
don't even know why i'm doing this.

just hang in there.
things don't need reason to happen.