Angels.

Hi everyone.

This was one crazy and fast week.

have a bit of time before I need to start packing, so...

UPDATE TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

don't really want to finish up this post, but.. HECK LETS START.
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wednesday - Movie with unemployed people!!

Cass, Vivi, Jaime Goh, Jiahong, Zuhair and I went to watch This means war!!

hahahah we were supposed to meet for breakfast at 11.
but I woke up late again (hahahaha cause I was writing the previous post :P)

anyway, reached vivo but didn't know how to get to the food court they were at!
(haha stupid signs)

so after getting lost for a while and with a little help, I got to the food court.
and ate tom yum ban mian.

the staff there were so bloody rude.
they were lucky that I just woke up and couldn't be bothered with them.

anyway, movie started at 12.30!!
so met up with the rest who came later.

anyway, me and vivi were quarreling the whole time haha.
it was because I thought she said the movie started at 2.30 on msn.
but she really did say that it starts at 12.30 so....

:P

anyway, the movie was good, hahaha.
we went on to just walk around vivo.

and soon after everyone was bored.
so everyone decided to come crash my house hahahaha.
well, long time since I've brought friends home.
hmm.. 4 years? yup. haha.

so we just played cards and stoned and ate all the junk food we bought at hougang mall on our way to my house (hahahah convenient excuse to get snacks :P)

and after that Pung joined us after work so yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy hahaha good that she lives near me hehehe.

so after that (with people leaving here and there) the few of us left went to hougang mall to stone (supposed to treat them to dinner but they weren't hungryyyy hahaha) and played shag marry kill hahaha.
poor cass always gets the hardest choices HAHAHAHAH.
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 Thursday - stayed home to finish replaying FF 7 - Crisis Core

such a wonderful game really.
the story line between the few series is really amazing I must say. hahaha.
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Friday - Results Day!!

woke up at 7 plus to go for a jog with Melvyn.
well, long time since we've met; he's busy with his life, I'm occupied with mine.
well, had a very nice jog and talk with him. hahaha.

met up with a few peeps from class to eat breakfast after that.
Tiong Ann, Martin, Ming Xuan and Han Ren met up earlier.
and the rest of us joined in laterrr.
hahaha alot of army talk ((:

and yup! just talked for a while until it was about time for lunch hahahaha.
so had a few others like emm jaime and robert join us.
yup. pizza hut was good!!

and so went back to school.

to be perfectly honest, I wasn't nervous at all.
I kept telling myself "whats done is done." and really didn't worry too much about it.

anyway, I did real well; never expected that my name will be up on the slides again.
especially since it was all so last minute and stuff, and I was so unprepared for the papers.

was only expecting As for physics and maths, but glad that I had As for PCMG. not only did I not disappoint my JC teachers, I'm glad that I manage to get As for all the subjects that I liked most at O levels, and not disappoint my sec school teachers. especially E. Lim for chem. I'm really glad that I didn't disappoint her.

I sort of think that I don't deserve my results, after looking at how people who have put in so much more effort than me get less desirable grades.

so, I shall make this a promise: I'll take this set of good results from God up there (if he does exist) as a loan and pay back the hard work during university.
(hopefully the interest rate is low haha)

my life will definitely be very different with a different set of results.
well, I'm real thankful and I sort of still don't believe its real.

but one lesson I've learnt from JC and A levels is that real or not, you like it or not, ready or not, just go and do it, and stop waiting. time is of the essence.

well. I feel a little disheartened about this whole results thing cause many people who deserved to do well didn't. its like they are deprived of the things that they rightfully should have.
and many people like me feels it is unfair, well, at least some part of me does.
another problem is how many people who are interested to pursue academic subjects like geog can't do so with a less desirable set of results cause NUS holds a monopoly over this course.
to introduce a new university? vast consequences, both good and bad. well, k shall stop thinking about this.

anyway, after results, went with the class to parkway and had pastamania.
then just sat around and talked. (:
moved to the pavilion near parkway and continued talking hahaha.
its so funny how we like to sit down and talkkkk. like hanging around the class so much (:
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Sunday - Sentosa with GI friends (:

well, actually almost 20 people were invited hahaha.
but only 6 of us came cause of pcb for the various camps.
well peak period now so can't blame them. haha.

anyway, cass tay, jiahui, hanafi, martyn, I and Lyron (who came later) had a good time at sentosa. (:
me and martyn kayaking, talking crap (esp about the kids!), playing frisbee, playing guitar, beach volleyball.
didn't regret going (:

well, cass had to leave early, so the rest of us had a little time there at the beach.
before we went to vivo where I parted ways from the rest.

met up with bridget who ended her shift at vivo as well.
went down to career fair with junjie.
with lots of people talking crap HAHAHA.

OH. and someone attacked me because of the pimples on my face -_- (k if I want to market a facial wash or something to someone, who in the right mind will single that person out right. at least I won't. I'll like ask the group or something right. -_- want to sell something please at least think of how you want to approach the person and not be so damn tactless -_-)

anyway, JustAcia after that! good meal, and we headed home. (:
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Monday - 5th March

woke up at 10+ today when I'm supposed to meet mingxuan @ 10.30 at parkway hahaha.
luckily it was raining heavily at bedok so he had to wait for the rain to kind of stop.
(well it was actually on my side too but.. still went haha)

went to parkway to get gifts for the teachers! didn't know what to buy so just bought rocher for the teachers. (:
then went around to grab other misc stuff and went to TJC where we met dylan khoo!
he got red pens for the teachers! (why didn't think of that) hahaha.

so we went and passed the stuff to the teachers and went home!

and I want to complain cause mx was supposed to shave with me but he pangseh-ed me ):
k lah not his fault anyway hahaha.
(OH DYLAN KHOO JUST MESSAGE ME TO SAY THAT HE PANGSEH-ED ME ALSO walaooo thanks ah guys)
(k edit: HAHAHA STUPID DYLAN KHOO BLUFF ME YAY tmr i'm not the only botak one!!)

dad keeps poping into my room, esp these few days.
haha he's showing his concern to me lah, and I really appreciate it (:

so anyway, shaved botak, spent some time at home, and now I'm short of time to pack cause its 11.45 already ohgawdddddd. haha see lah this is what blogging does to me.
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anyway, enlisting tmr, not very worried, like how I was nervous for results.
just take it as it comes.
like mingxuan says, any mature person with a sound and composed mind will be able to handle this.

so yup gonna take it as it comes.
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anyway, I have been putting this one song on repeat since yesterday night.
it is 'hear you me' by Jimmy Eats World.

I think many people want to know why the url of my blog is actually remember-this-song.blogspot.com.
it is because I have a story for most of the songs I have on my phone.
They are so dear to me. so even though I'm always stuck listening to this few songs, I'll never get sick of them cause they have a story behind them.

and how did I get to know of this song?

This person (whom I am not very close with) dedicated this song to her brother who just passed away.
The first thing that actually hit me was the fear and panic that would come to someone before he actually went.

how would her parents feel? how would she feel? how would his friends feel?

and I actually saw the whole thing unfold on fb, so It didn't feel good.

anyway, the lyrics and the song mean a lot as well.
cliche as it sounds, but cherish whoever you have.

kay, shall leave you with this song.
back in 3 weeks time.
its 12am now, 10 hours to enlistment.
better start packing now.

kthxbye.

There's no one in town I know,
You gave us some place to go,
I never said thank you for that,
'thought I might get one more chance.


What would you think of me now?
So lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
Now I'll never have a chance.


May angels lead you in,
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads, the sleepless go,
May angels lead you in.


So what would you think of me now?
So lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
Now I'll never have a chance.


May angels lead you in,
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go,
May angels lead you in.


May angels lead you in,
May angels lead you in.


And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
God wouldn't let it live.


May angels lead you in,
Hear you me my friends,
On sleepless roads the sleepless go,
May angels lead you in.


May angels lead you in,
Hear you me my friends,
On sleepless roads the sleepless go,
May angels lead you in.

Good break.

It has been a while since I've written here huh.

today was such an mundane day ahhaha.
so much has happened since the last time I've blogged.

tried to start writing since this morning, but looks like I failed.
sigh when will i ever get rid of this bad habit?
always procasinating.

anyway, here's what has happened!
(will be writing a few lines only cause can't remember that much and its 1 plus in the morning already haha)

19th December 2011
Went out with sabu and Junjie to catch up etc!!
haha fun day out (:
watched tintin and it was not bad a movie (:

20th December 2011
stayed home to watch TED lectures hahah.
havn't been watching them for quite some time cause the lectures that they upload are not what I'm interested in.
This can also be attributed to youtube's design change.
so messy now rawr.

anyway, I was reminded of the fact that I need to start slowing down (hard to do so esp. in Singapore) in order to appreciate the real flavour of life.
have been going through the motions so rapidly these 2 years in JC that I'm sort of numb to everything now.

21st December 2011
spent the day with Leona, Bridget and Junjie.
went ice skating @ kallang and seafood @ punggol
Ice skated till I had abrasion at one of my ankles hehehe.
but its nice going to iceskate after so many years. (the last time I skated was when I was in sec 2)
The seafood @ punggol was so awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeee ^^
gonna go back again for it I promise!

after eating our fill, we went to take a walk @ punggol waterway.
very nice place I must say (:
we just talked and talked and talked. ((((:
and we even played with all the water and stuff hahahaha.
got so bloody wet. (vids and photos still with Bree ang! ): )
It was definitely a night I'll never forget (:

22nd December 2011
spent the day @ bethel pres going through the rehearsal for our christmas play.
hahahaha. oh well at least I did something productive that day.
and the churchies sang the birthday song for me (haha no lah not specially for me. it was only because someone else's birthday fell on the same day so they sang it for us!)
and went home to cut cake haha (didn't take pics with mum and dad cause wan't in the mood and now I regret it ): )

23rd December 2011
met up with the 48th boys and puvan who came down from malaysia!
haha ate astons and talked.
remember that ben chua saw joel and noel in phuket hahahaha so coincidental
went to watch a movie after that (which I actually forgot which movie we watched :P)
but had fun can liao lahhhh hahahaha.

24th and 25th December 2011
spent at Bethel Pres for Christmas Celebrations and performance.
haha i was only doing logistics.
got to know Uncle vincent who is super awesome!
(though I must admit he sounded intimidating in the beginning ):)

Tiong Ann came back from Taiwan then and he gave me a badge for a pressie (:
so sweet of him.
then in between rehearsals we kept talking hahaha.
(about how i got molested -_- and his scandal HAHAHAHAHAHA)
(k shall not give too many clues here)

but anyway, seeing how everyone is so happy makes me feel more sad hahaha cause I don't feel that kind of joy anymore.
anyway, feedback for the play was good (:
won't be having a combined celebration @ Bethel Pres. for another few years so can take a breather hahahaha.

30th December 2011 - 1st January 2012
went to genting with my family!!!
It has been a long time since we went overseas even to malaysia)
5/6 years? hahaha.
thats why I was quite happy ((:

first day was nothing much.
driving all the way up, breakfast @ Johor, then another 5 hours of sleep.
hahaha I remembered that our car didn't have enough power can moved so damn slowly uphill hahaha.
then I had to go and pee and got off at a temple and it was so cool up then. (as in pun intended)
the view was breathtaking really ((:

second day, spent @ theme park!!!!!!
though it started raining halfway, which allowed us to go and have lunch if not we'd have continued playing on!
hahaha and my mum didn't want to go on any rides and so she just sat there and waited for us. (: so sweet hehe.
and I tried to enter the casino and act like I was above 21!
But I got caught and my response was "huh I thought 18 can enter liao!???"

anyway, 3rd day was back to singapore ((:
went to strawberry farm, tried bird nest ice cream, as well as streamboat hahahaha shiok!!
shopped for cny goodies as well, and ate herbal chicken yessss ((:
its really a nice holiday lah ((:

4th January 2012
met up with Zihui to get the GC i was going to buy from him, and for a run as well!
hahahaha wonder how he is doing in the army.
PES A leh siao siao hahahaha.

just kept talking after that and then we went for makan!
fish soup bee hoon below his house!
(trust me its one of the most shiok things around!!)
then went up his house watch tv and I left hehehehe.
wa really need to start organising outings with the 48th Boys!!

5th January 2012
It was my cousin's wedding, and as usual my family was late :P
hahaha happens every time there is something like this hahaha.
havn't had a wedding for quite some time too!
The food was good (: and well other than that everyone is growing up/aging fast huh.
and my other cousin (weijian) asked me to try for an overseas education.
hahaha made me think through all my plans again. which is good in some sense.
but in other sense (cents) it is bad LOLOLOL.

7th, 14th and 15th January 2012
Went for my kayaking Star 2 course with Chris, Daniel, Loisa and a few of the 33rd coy guys!
haha it was awesome fun!!!!
refreshing what i have learnt in star 1, star 2 stuff, and even abit of star 3 stuff!
damn cool you know. like I wanna continue to star 3 and try kayaking surfing and all these stuff cause the coach was telling us about it and showing us videos of it!!

and I learnt alot of physics from this course as well.
effect of boat design on ability to flip, the tides, winds, water currents, etc
all these complex variables that make up our experience while kayaking.
its like, so awesome hahaha.
and I witnessed for myself diffraction of waves. (cause at low tide the waves will intefere with one another and maxima and minima of dirt and rubbish can be seen haha so damn awesome)

gonna try and find some kayaking buddies to complete the 5 expeditions I need to do, practice star 2, and go on to star 3.

8th January 2012
went to beach road to grab my bootes with Ms Koh (haha we got lost halfway)
next went back to serangoon for brunch with leona, bridget, jien, cherp, and zeke.
then went for zeke's church service.
hehehehehe.

9th/10th January 2012
(can't remember which day it was hahahaha)
went back to zhss for fun with jj, leona and bridget but apparantly all the teachers were busy with release of o level results hahaha.
well my juniors did well.
100% of 4E eligible for JC, so really its a remarkable achievement.
though they were short of 0.2 to make band 1 (like always hahah)

next, had bb day rehearsal.
well, nothing much to comment on here.
Just that the school is really damn protective of the students.
sigh.

12th, 13th January 2012
My first camp with Camp high achievers!
Deyi Sec 2D non-residential camp.

Partnered with Vicki whom i got to know from OJT.
hahaha he's such a funny guy!!


for this school, the students were difficult.
I swear hahahaha.'


anyway, the camp went well, got my first taste of kids after so long, and tried my best for this one hahaha.
and I got a commendation from the teacher mwahahahahah.
my guess is that it is because of this that I got all the difficult schools I guess.
but oh well, doesn't matter, cause I learnt alot from this (:

got to know Cheif Zhihao, Chief Amily, Guifang, Yan Mae, Thomas, Gerald, Hilman, Cher-E, Kendra, Amira, and Asad!

17th January 2012
had a class outing that day! went to play badminton and slackeddddddddd to no end
then went for lunch. and everyone was talking about how tanned I was hahahaha.
imagine when i'm in the army :O (looking at how tanned tiong ann is now..)
then went to this place (the jap restaurant) and played werewolf hahaha
(walao the game can really keep us occupied for ages i swear)
that was when our dear Mr Goh TA dropped by to claim a geog textbook from joshua before leaving again hahahaha.

Then went for guitar dinner @ pizza hut cause Nadia came back from indo for a short while!
TEEHEE ^^
sat with my fav Jonathan heng and made the whole place freeze hahahahaha.
but dinner was good lah (: hehehehe.

18th January 2012
went swimming without googles cause I forgot to bring it
bad experience i swear
eyes sore for the next 2 days ):

19th January 2012
went down to chinatown with my mum to help buy cny goodies!!
and to be honest no festive feel leh.
even my mum thinks so!!!

next up was reuinion dinner which was good cause got crab!!!!
hahahahaha

20th January 2012
visited TJ  in the morning (though it was quite fail cause only a few people turned up)
(curse that hanren hahaha organise then went missing ): then threw everything to me ): )
saw most of the teachers ((: haha everyone's busy with the new year I guess.

and we only found out santosa got a job in school that day!!!!!!!!!!!
idiot never tell us ): hahahahahaha.

next, jerrie asked everyone if they wanted to play badminton after that but everyone wasn't free so only I went to crash there.
met adrian low who is my ex-primary school classmate there omg hahahaha
everyone there was tms except for him and me so I was like 'yayyy'
and yup so had dinner after that and it was fun lah ((:

21st and 22nd January 2012
spring cleaning. nuff said.

23rd and 24th January 2012
CNY day 1 and 2!!
visited relatives etc etc.
hahahaha and angbaoooo.
visited my newly-wedded cousin's house as well.
there was alot of food there too. (k thinking about the food is making me hungry so lets move on)

26th January 2012
soccer with hanren zuhair etc at tampinese safra hahahaha.
we were up against mx and his sec school classmates.
well don't ask me why I went cause it was hanren who pulled me there.
yup the game was okay lah.
I conceded 3 goals (whats new) and yeah lah lousyyyyyyyy lah i know hahahaha.

lunch with mhr and zuhair the ahbang and reynold heng after that @ chicken rice shop at Bedok point
omg value for money. really shiok ttm.

meet up with jj titus and gang after that hahahaha.
went to zf's house after that (crashed his house!!)
and his mum was so nice. $12 angbao to each of us, and even treated us to pizza hut.
and we didn't even bring a damn orange to bai-nian cause crashing his house was a last minute decision haha.
but yeah lah good fun (:

29th January 2012
went to mr ang's house for cny visitation!!
ubber fun ((:
this was a successful class outing cause most came HAHAHA (k unlike the other one -.-)

played werewolf!!! haha okay this was very fun cause it was a big group!
and then louhei + celebrated Jan baby birthdays!

and hanren slammed his cake into joshua's face.
and joshua did the same just that the cake flew around hahahaha.
then I swear Mrs Ang's suddenly changed her face hahahah so funny.

anyway, Mr and Mrs Ang brought us down for dinner and helped to pay for most of our food!
so nice right. haha dunno how much of their money we spent that day so paiseh.
Anyway, thanks again to Mr and Mrs Ang!

30th January 2012
some of us from the class met up @ city area cause the night before during dinner, rachael pung actually promised to give us a treat during her lunch time at work!
so we went, (expecting her not to treat us cause were were only joking) but in the end she paid for our meal.
(well our doesn't include me cause I overslept and didn't buy HAHAHA)

anyway, the bunch of us (joshua, yeshen, zuhair, cass and vivi) went off to esplanade park to talk.
hung around there for quite a bit, and then moved on to mbs!
haha MBS is such an awesome place lah.
stayed there for hours and talked.

well, then for dinner, we went to marina square and talk again hahaha over dinner.
sigh all the gossip and all the stuff I didn't know -_-
hahaha everyone was laughing at how I didn't know a thing ):
but it was fun lah (:

1st - 3rd February 2012
It was now time for my second camp!!
Kranji secondary school! hahaha.

didn't know what to expect cause it was my first JBAC camp.
Partnered Divya who was such an awesome mirror! (oh mirror is the term we use for partner haha)
and it turns out that Divya was from TMS and was from jerrie and cass's class hahaha so coincidental.
and she complained that teckyan's geog and maths was good even in sec school AHAHHAAH.
such a small world!!

It was the first JBAC camp for the both of us actually.
and we were assigned the 3T class hahahaha.
so we really didn't know what to expect etc.

and to be honest it was quite a discouraging camp for me.
first day was veryyyyyyy bad hahahahaha cause they didn't want to open up to me ):
second day was better ((:
and I lost my voice after that. on the first damn day. so no voice for the other 2 days.
but still, campfire kinda screwed up, and we (Divya and I) had to help save the show for a bit lol.
the kids were okay. in fact they were very good! (considering that 3T students were better behaved than some 3E and 3N etc)
and they had little problems whatsoever during campfire preparation sessions.

but its mostly due to things that were out of our control.
like how low their self-esteem was (sigh) and how outcasted they feel from the whole school (cause 3E all know each other from sec 2, 3N all brother classes, and 3T all alone) and the tension in the class that has built up for 3 years, as well as how childish they were (sigh well who am I to judge right)

and at one point of time I got so angry at them that Chief had to step in for me.
had to drink water to cool myself down and almost exploded.
but well, dunno why but it was then that I started thinking and I was able to talk to them in a way I never did before.
which I hope helped them in one way or another lah.
I was quite surprised with myself actually cause I would never have thought that I'll be able to think of such stuff to speak about. and I was so honest with them. no barriers, just them listening to me.

well, thank God for their good form teachers.
I've told them whatever I wanted to, and I really hope they'll take it away lah.
though from facebook (they added me and I accepted but removed again) chances are they'll still carry on quarrelling, I hope that they will take something back from me and move on.

anyway, so glad to have done this camp cause I got to work with these awesome instructors!
Chief Liptat, Chief Zhihao, Kelvin Lam, Naga, Divya, Fydie, Glinnis, Charis, Xiangting, Lyron, Haritz, Yuan Ning, Sean, Xuan Er and Yi Long!

and omg so coincidental hahaha Yilong is actually my primary school mate's brother SO COOL never knew until we were talking about where we stayed HAHAHAHA.

3rd February 2012
after the Kranji sec camp
crashed mass dance @ suntec hahaha.
okay lah nothing much there cause mass dance this year was cut short ):

went to walk walk after that with santosa, reynold, mak han ren and zuhair hahaha.
they were so annoying hahaha. like shouting to a ogm saying "woah that girl pretty sia" and oplaying the penis game -_- hahahahaha
and we walked from suntec to MBS and we went to play with the fountain or whatever you call it.
slacked a while, then went off.
by that time i was sooooooooo tired cause I was carrying my bag from camp as I walked hahaha and we walked quite a lot okay!

4th February 2012
we dropped by teckyan's house for cny visitation!! ((:
ah didn't have voice at all ): cause of the camp lah walao hahahaha.

anyway, drank a bit of alcohol, got drunk started laughing at myself for no reason (eh cannot control one leh) then fell asleep. woke up and I was fine hahahaha.

played werewolf again!!! hahahahaha.
and yeah lah just slackedddd.

after that went to have dinner and gossip + talk again.
+ played all the stuff like shag marry kill HAHAHAHA.

and we went home hehehehe.

7th, 9th-11th February 2012
7th was the Pre-camp briefing (PCB) for Bartley sec school camp.
had to go down to JBAC for PCB cause now we need certification for low elements ):
also had belay school and land expedition briefing.
and it was awesome cause Shafi was there driving us around and was entertaining us.
yup had a good day.

then stayed on for a bit for the CHIJ OLON campfire before going off to makan with everyone!

9th-11th was the camp.
got to mirror Zena who is also from MJC hahaha.
she's a very strong mirror.

anyway, the group was okay lah.
tried my best to make them interact with each other hahaha.

activities were fine, except for the fact that a student got injured cause he rolled the zipline trolley over his foot. -_-
oh well.

lol I'll never forget how Mr Chin (the teacher IC) wacks his students leaders.
first time seeing commando style in a school camp.

I was meal IC for this camp! and everyone kept making fun of me cause i kept using 'ok' as a filler in between my sentences ): walaooooo.
but I enjoy being meal IC at JBAC hehehe ((:

Anyway, best female camper came from my group!
her name is xiuhui!
and it turns out that she knows my bro leh -_- (see told you small world)

and instructors for this camp are awesome cause all damn strong!!!!!!!!!!
love having supper chats with them etc hehehehe so nice!!!!!!!!!

Chief Naj, Chief Liptat, Zena, Cass Tay, Kellie, Lyron, Gerald, Yingjie (Rose!), Sharan, Khairul, Thomas, Xiangting, Danielle, and Atiqah!

17th February 2012
Did a 1 Day camp with Siling Primary School (P4) under Chief Ridhwan @ Labrador Adventure Center.
hahaha the place damn crappy lah lol.

the kids were so enthusiastic!!!!!!
(k maybe except a few -_-)

haha nothing much to comment on the day, I only got this camp cause I was helping Zena do this camp as her replacement!
well, except for the fact that the p4 team of teachers were so damn anal.
(k shall abstain from bitching too much cause this blog is afterall, public)

but the instructors were fun as well!
Mirrored Riana.
and the camp had Kelvin Lam, Sharan, Shelly, Vicky, Divya, Jiahui, Fydie, together with Chief Ridhwan and Chief Zhihao! (plus a few more whom I forgot :P)

It was so funny cause the kids kept calling Riana and I a couple -_-
just because we talk doesn't mean couple righttt lameee.
haha say until what I earn money until so much white hair -_-

anyway, after the day, we went back to toa payoh on the company van which kept stalling.
we even stopped in the middle of a road AHHAHAHA. (so exciting!)
we then went to makan at macs and talked about all kinds of stuff.
from Ridhwan's police days to EFI courses.
hehehehe.

after dinner 4 of us (vicky, ridhwan, fydie, and I) hung around a park and just talked about alot of stuff.
hahaha like teachers, fellow camp instructors, etc.
and I went home with ridhwan after that (who also lived in hougang) and learnt quite alot about sports science! hahaha cool stuff!!

22nd - 25th February 2012
22-24 was the siling primary school (p5) camp and 24-25 was the ITE west camp.
I was so stressed cause there were so many firsts.
First sarimbun camp, First residential Primary school camp, First camp with an tertiary education institute.

Again, the siling kids never fail to disappoint us with their enthusiasm!
mirrorred sally for this camp!
who taught me all I needed to know for sarimbun.
so thankful for her you know hahaha.
(I damn blur, told the kids the girls toilet was boys, and boys was girls HAHAHAHA)
(but got tell the correct one lah HAAHHA)

but other than that no major hiccup hehehe. (except for all the dalls ): )

and it was so awesome cause we even had the chance to bring the kids out to watch the stars!
If it wasn't for some kids who were sleepy, I would have talked more about stars hehehe (:

and one thing I learn from this camp would be that I have to make whatever isn't within my control, into my control in order to perform well. (thanks sally!)

Anyway, I'm so thankful for Chief Ridhwan, Chief Zaini, Sally, Hilman, Fydie, Constance, Guifang, Andrea, Yan Mae, Vicky, Din, Nick, Rasul and Huihui who are really all so awesome really.
For all the encouragement and etc. and also for asking me not to panick! hahahaha.

and especially to sally who helped to take over my group because i had to leave for ITE west on 24th morning!

anyway, ITE west wasn't a very pleasant camp.
it wasn't THAT bad, but it most definitely could have been better!

my journey there was -_-
don't even wanna mention it hahahaha.
woke up late, but because it was near 7, no taxi wanted to take me.
waited until after 7 before I could reserve a Cab, but the driver blur cock cannot find me ):
hahaha but in the end I hopped on to another cab and pangseh my driver MWAHAHAHA.

k anyway, ITE kids are mature lah, but they are not enthusiastic.
half-hearted come this camp... so nothing much that I could do.

but anyway, one of the girls shouted "what-the-fuck" in my face and no one really does that and goes away unpunished HAHAHA.
but I couldn't scream in her face cause her bf (chao ah lian -_-) was in the same class (my group also) so i was damnnnnn siannnnnnnn.

anyway, the camp was still good cause of the instructiors!!
Chief Naj, Chief Zhihao, Cass Tay, Gerald, Sharan, Hassan, Hussein, Fie, and David!
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anyway, I'm so glad to be able to work with this company.
haha. especially the few whom I've done a few camps with, like Vicky, Fydie, Cass Tay, Sharan, and Gerald! ((:

hope to be able to do more camps next time, though most likely it'll be with a different team of instructors ):
but yeah hope to keep in contact with the others!

I already planned out what I wanna do already hehehe (:<
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anyway, I've started a little on uni physics and linear algebra, and its not easy.
sigh shall wait for everyone to enter uni and ask for textbooks or something to continue.
now no time....

next pressing issue: scholarship essay and results!
whats done is done so.. oh well ):
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anyway, plans for the coming week!

movie with vivi zuhair Teckyan cass jiahong later in a few hours time!
(lol can I wake up early enough for breakfast with them? :O)

Results on friday!!!
Running with Melvyn Sim in the morning! so long since I've seen him!

Parade on Saturday to help the PAA with their applications.

Sentosa on Sunday with fellow camp instuctors, before dinner with leona bridget and junjie! ((:

don't know when the next time i'll write here will be, especially since I'm going into army soon, but I really hope it is soon, to commemorate my good results! (:

anyway, its almost 6, so cya!!
(how to wake up later siaaa)

Money.

hello everyone, its been a month. a busy month. haha.
wanted to blog about the many things that happened (was out almost every other day) but guess I'll leave it to another day.
having sore eyes from not bringing my goggles just now and was woken up from my deep slumber, not in the mood right now I guess.


just wanted to share these two contrasting blog posts I saw from two people whom I thought were friends.

I think if i weren't a christian and never met God or encountered him i would probably.....


-be one of the meanest girls around my friends (in terms of judging/giving comments/hate words)
when i start argueing at rage mode....hmm.. it's like i become an intellectual chao ah lian HAHAHAAA.

-have a tattoo :O
ikr..............

-actually get into bitch fights...

-actually be childish enough to do the whole "high school lameass back stabbing, hating, bullying" shit.
to those that i hate anyway...

-damn vulgar ohmygoodness the horror right?

-have serious anger management issues

-be doing various night activities

and etc. my brain not working can't think of more.

But now that i know that the above is SO wrong........
i have to fight the above mentioned urges every. single. day. without. giving. in.

Being a christian is hard but it's rewarding.
for one, you get to live forever and ever after you die.
and sometimes you're more mature than the same aged people around you.
then cool things start happening and you suddenly feel very blessed.
but then people start being jealous and hate on you being holy moly.
and then you'll need to go through tough times where people hate you because you're a christian or your parents don't allow you to be one.
or maybe you'll go through temptations and then you see other people like having fun then you also wanna have fun.
but these obstacles makes us into a stronger person, helps us grow up.
There'll be ups and there'll be downs.
How will you react to it? Will you keep the faith and trust in God or will you only trust in Him if things are going your way?
Will you talk to God everyday or only when you got that feeling then you talk.

Yeah, sometimes we slip once in a while.
doing things we regret.
Others decides that it's too tough and just stop.

But whatever.
The point is....................
.
.
i need to sleep.


Um no, is that.....the above blog post is irrelevant because no matter what we do to convince some people to stop hating on us they will hate on us as said in the bible.

So goodluckhavefun and hope you encounter God and his i-also-dk-how-to-describe-supercoolamazing LOVE.

and the next one:

I don't know how these people do it; they badger they bug they tug at you even though you push them away numerous times. I'm not saying this in an optimistic way. In fact, I'm saying this in a slightly annoyed/disgusted way. It's as if they are PROGRAMMED to bug you until you become one of them.


No, I do not want to go to church. I will go when I want to.


That aside, regarding the supposed accusations of 'hypocritical' Christians. I honestly don't think anyone on earth would be hypocritical enough to praise God and curse at the same time (considering how they constantly spy on each others' actions). Maybe they used to do it BEFORE they went back to church? But they've changed once they went back? I don't know. But the fact remains that they've done it.. disgustingly.. and kept it under the wraps.. pretending like they're of high moral standing now that they're Christians again.. gah.


p/s if you have nothing to talk to me about apart from JUSTIFYING the church's actions/asking me back to church, please don't even talk to me. At all.


P/p/s I don't mean to say this in a way that I'll NEVER go back to church. But when I do, I want it to be because I love God. I don't want it to be a response to your badgering/to get you off my back.

don't get me wrong if you know who they are, I just found their blogs by chance.
I understand where the first person is coming from, but I'm on the second person's side. 
(my status is currently similar to that of the second person's)


and to be perfectly honest, even though I acknowledge all that God has done for me, 
I still think the first post is very self-righteous.
(see I'm judging here)


something that happened a few weeks ago made me feel so disgusted with the church.

not all churches per se, just some churches and their christians. (not gonna generalise here)

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
- Mohandas Gandhi

Its late already, I guess I shall leave it to you readers to think it over.

Long Overdue.

hello everyone.
its been a long time since i've written anything about my unexciting life here.
its been almost 3 weeks since As ended, and my laptop is at the repairs now, so I'm using my dad's lappy to type this.
don't feel comfortable using other people's laptop to blog, but since I'm not doing anything, I guess I better write stuff here before I forget all about them haha.
so much for promising again and again taht I will write something here as soon as As ended hahahaha. #procasination ftw.

shall try to be as detailed as possible, cause I want myself to remember what happened during this 3 weeks when I read this entry, maybe years later.
don't want it to be ike the blog entries months ago which I cannot recall much about. (well, its mostly private, and I wouldn't want to think about those stuff anyway. only makes me sad.)

so, its 10.41pm.
lets start now.
see how long I actually take to write this post!

where shall I start?
after As?
hehehe.
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k so anyway, the A level papers were.. idk.
not eactly tough, but ot eactly easy either.
would have aced it if I actually did study for them.
but.. nvm. heh. Just hope that my grades turn out to be decent enough for me to land my ass in NUS (at least) or the CN Yang's Programme at NTU and get a scholarship.

I wasnt nervous or anything.
that was what actually stressed me out haha.
I was stressed out at certain periods of time.
maybe. 15 minutes - 1 hour before each paper, and THE DAYS LEADING UP TO THE GEOGRAHY PAPERS.
but oh well it went relatively well considered how much I studied.
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anyway, after the chem MCQ papers, the class guys went out for LAN while the girls went home to watch MAMA hahahahaha stupid kpop.
lol but anyway yah lah we bio jio them so.. hehheheheheh.
not enough computers so hanren dylan and I played pool instead.
and I always lost >: lost touch already sigh (not that I'm very good haha)

then went off to play CS and I LOST AGAIN HAHA.
I've never won any game except for the first CS game I played so.. HAHA.
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k so the next day, the class met up in the afternoon (nope we didn't meet up in the morning cause no one wanted to watch 'apple of my eye' with me ): obbb ) and we bought some stuff for the chalet.
went down and reached aloha changi at 3pm, and then everyone played cards and the xbox while I sort of stoned (sigh)
anyway, went down to changi village for dinner where we ate prawn mee heheh. (woah its been a few weeks already yet i still can remember heheh)

then went on for night cycling hahahaha.
went to collect the bikes with tiong ann, and talk for a little.
well I can't exactly remember what we talked about, except for the class, and maybe a little about his bro. (haha I was comparing his bro to myself and I found that we have quite a number of similarities)

then we waited for everyone to reach (HAHA MX was the latest cause he had to pass his mum's IC back to her)
and we set off.

went along changi coast, down along the long airport road, east coast park, then went up to all the other park connectors, up to bedok reservoir (HAHA we got lost at one point cause the park connector was cut off at the HDB flat and I almost led everyone up the wrong way back to hougang )': later on)
haha also not forgetting zuhair's legs cramped up 4 times and mx and jiahong had to go buy deep heat for him at 7-11, and also how tiong ann's bike broke down twice HAHA.
then hanren was suaning him about how his grades are good but he an't fix a bike haha!
and he many overhead bridges we had to cross, and the nightbreeze, and stopping at kembangan for a 'short' break hahahah.
boohoo no lightsticks but nvmmmm heh (: at least we're alive.
I almost got knocked down twice by cars over there and I got so pissed the second time cause the green pedestrian light was flashing but the car still cut my path -_- and I actually pointed the finger at them hahaha. but oh well at least I understand now why my dad was so against the idea of me going for night cycling when I was in sec 2.

well, it was nice.
haha the last part got a little funny, cause it started raining and we all had to chiong back to chalet hahaha. then the people in front went faster and faster. but zuhair's leg acted up again and teckyan became tired.
but anyway we made it back alive, with me being the lastman lol.
and vivi's "I WANNA CYCLE IN THE RAIN" -_- hahahahahahaha. k lah didn't know that was one of the 1001 things you wanted to do haha. k at least you accomplished it (:
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k so anyway, reached home (hahah shit typed that really) chalet at 2.30++ am and everyone took turns to bathe.
emm and jaime had to leave for home and so hanren and I walked them out (HAHA we so nice hor)
played bridge with the others (zuhair jerrie and teckyan + wenxiu (tiong ann was watching us and he says that watching me play bridge is hilarious cause I am always clueless )': )) and I conveniently forgot to bathe HAHAHAHA
and Jerrie and I were fated enough to win 4 trump MWAHAHAHHAHA its not everyday someone gets to win that many sets with a partner as lousy as me hahahaha.

anyway jerrie zuhair and wenxiu decided to be lame and the 4 of us decided to play hide and seek HAHAHA.
and I became the seeker boohoo )':
so I waited for them to hide and I started looking for them!
walao I saw jerrie outside of the chalet but when I went out she was gone!
so I went in and found zuhair in the majong room (mwahahahha) (he was hiding behind the chairs -_- walao)
then the two of us went seeking for jerrie but couldn't find her! haha then we attacked from both sides and she laughed out so loudly when we found her hahahahahah.
but wenxiu was still MIA so we searched the first floor but she was no where to be found!!
turns out that she was in the room where I originally was when I was waiting for them to finish hiding (walao like that one lor)

k then I bathed.
(TEEHEE K DONT JUDGE ME)

hahaha but anyway, bathed and then watched the girls play halo. (hahaha very amusing, but that was when I was so damn afraid our neighbours (as in real humans -_- not the 'neighbours') would complain against us cause the girls were screaming so loudly esp jerrie hahahahahah)
hahahah then tiong ann woke up and totally KO-ed on the table.

anyway, went out back to changi village to return the bikes, and went for breakfast.
jiasheng left for home though, and that was the last time we saw him. he's in tekong now! wonder how's he's doing.
anyway, we went for breakfast, and robert, hanren and I ate the famous nasi lemak for breakfast! ahah.

which brings me to the weekend before chem paper, when Tiong ann, Martin, Dylan, Mingxuan and I went down to changi village to reccee and get things like the bikes sorted out

anyway, on the other tables (joshua and gang + the girls) ate half boiled eggs. and somehow or rather either party didn't want their eggs/wanted more eggs and so the egg joke was born hahahaha. (lol someone cracked the egg joke hahaha #lamepun)

anyway, went back, and we played cluedo suspect! tiongann zuhair me and cass hahaha it was so funnnnnn. (the others were playing either the xbox or majong)
I really like the game cause I guessed my one and only win heh (: (intuition ftw)

we played bridge next hahaha omg I remember the freaky deck of cards (they were dylan's) which would always make sure cass had at least 2 aces no matter how we shuffled it (and I kept losing D:)

became tired so went up to nap with my dear santosa <3 hahahahaha.
(typing 'I slept with santosa' sounds wrong lololol)
so slept from 2 to 7-8+ cause I forgot that santosa had to leave for delta jts and I got him to wake me up hahaha.
but nehmind cause when I woke up the BBQ food was all ready hahaha (I felt like a king! (: )

hahaha after that the guys started playing dead space which was quite hilarious cause abdullah was such a pussy hahahaha (nah I would have been one too if I played dead space at that time of the night in a chalet right beside old changi hospital -_-).
but anyway I cannot really remember what I did here, except that everyone started giving out their cards and presents (:
(neh I still feel bad for not making something for them. maybe I should retry the experiment which failed 2 years ago hahahaha.)

but anyway, I think we played cards until 1am+ when we went up to play a game that hanren introduced called 'werewolf' which everyone in the house could play.
It was seriously ultra epic hahahahaha.
played until 5+ and me and tiongann totally ko-ed.
(haha hanren's XBOX JOKES kept coming out duing werewolf!)
we slept and woke up at.. 8-9+am when we were supposed to check out hahaha.
had mac's breakfast (hmm craving for it now) and everyone went home/to school to collect our sgc.

Had to stay back in school a little longer for mrs loke's scholarship talk (went with shameer), so went for lunch with the peeps before that.
we had a slightly intelletual debate there which I really enjoyed, though I believe it is still quite superficial and simplistic. haha.
we're still 18 and lack a lot of knowledge. still quite naiive I believe haha.
oh well.

As for the scholarship talk, I guess it was just a short session to remind us about the usual stuff they always say at scholarship talks.
Except the part that each university has their own bondless scholarship.
which i didn't realise.
going to try for it, esp for nus/ntu and even any overseas uni i'll want to apply for.

(oh this reminds me that mrs loke has officially left the school already sigh)
to be perfectly honest I didn't really like the way she speaks to us students, especially when I just came into tjc, cause it reminds me of those elitist people who speak the same way.
but after 2 years with her and finding out more of what she has done for the school (including building the lift specially for a handicapped student) , i realised that not that bad I suppose.
oh well, who ask me judge so much lol.

k went back home to sleep.
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(finally end of part 1 and its 3.14am already sighhhhh how am I going to finish writing this haha!)

anyway, Jordan invited Dylan and I to his birthday party.
haha was so happy.

anyway, we guys (hanren jiahong dylan reynold and I) went for prom shopping on the 3rd and the rest got the whole set while I bought only my shirt cause I have the rest of the stuff already.
but I had such a hard time getting a shirt sigh (thats why I don't like shopping ): cannot make up my mind. I like window shopping better HAHAHAH.)

and I make a real bad shopping partner cause I never know what I want to buy. hahaha.
Went with dylan after prom shopping to hunt for a gift for jordan after prom shopping and I think he realised that I'm such a bad shopping parter hahaha.
but anyway we bought a shirt and a pen for him. haha.
wanted to buy a pen + notebook but no suitable notebook sigh.

Dylan had to go down to funan/simlim (haha can't rmb) to get his new lappy cause his current one was too lousy for games and he needed one with better specs.
but before leaving citylink we chanced upon NADIA hahaha (actually only I did cause he was queueing up at starbucks heh)
_____________________________________________________
Anyway, Jordan's party the next day!

had a rehearsal for christmas performance at church in the afternoon (didn't go to church in the morning cause I overslept sigh)
so, I'm logistics man (again) (well thats because I have no other talent hahaha)
and so we rehearsed from 1 - 4pm and then i went down to Tanah Merah from Serangoon to meet dylan.
chanced upon wenui and boris at tanah merah!
they were going to the party as well.
it was too bad dylan's (dad's) car couldn't pick up more people, so the two had to take bus down while I enjoyed the luxury of private transport mwahahaha.

and it started raining hahahha.
so dylan and I were one of the earliest to reach the chalet,
and yayyyyy we stoned while waiting for the rest.
Jaime and the rest of the zhss people were there, so I was actually supposed to be the least awkward at the party since I knew almost everyone at the party from both zhss and tjc.
so yup talked to jaime for a while.
glad to know that life's good for him (:

anyway, the party was good, with all the food and people.
hahaha.
remember playing bridge with boris dom and cheryl and the loser had to drink bandung with potato (haha dom came up with the forfeit) and cheryl and I lost both rounds (lol I didn't win a single set sigh) and we had to drink the drinks hahaha omg I swear it was gross.

and talking to the hc people (: it was nice lah I guess.
really thankful for everyone of them (: wonder what would have happened if I actually appealed to vjc and my appeal to vjc succeeded (HA. HA. HA.)

but yup.
zeke came along later during the party and I was so happy to meet him!
havn't seen that guy for 2 years or so. (:

but had to go home for fear of not catching the last bus.
walked out that long strech of road outside the chalet (haha what an ordeal everyone who walked in had to go through) with boris, wenrui, jiaxin, deonn, yannis and weijie.
and yup just talked.
haha I like talking alot lah (:
and we managed to catch a cab which could take 7 people and it brought us to tanah merah, where we caught the last train to pasir ris!
then boris and I managed to catch the last bus (88) back to hougang.
haha we were so close too ((:

and on the bus we talked again. (hahaha)
boris akes a good talking partner (:
easy to talk to.

reached home at 12+
KO-ed.
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(k its 3.47am now.. hahaha. my dad's lappy had been on for hours I swear its going to die haha)

played badminton with dylan, pao, kaixin, wenrui and jordan on the 6th.
hahaha oh well I was better than i usually was (though I was still quite lazy and we played for the sake of playing :P) (which actually means we anyow play :P)
but it was good exercise, especialyy since I have not exercised for a single bit since PE stopped haha)

went for dinner with them @ pizza hut tampines and gossiped for a bit.
hahaha walao they were talking about stuff which I had no clue about but nvm its okay I don't gossip alot (: (yeah right)
but yup it was nice eating and talking to them.

took 88 from pasir ris with kx and jordan back to hougang again and we talked again. (haha I always talk but nothing from the conversations is going to come on here :P)
yupppp.
end of 6th december. (yay)
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8th December 2011, My first ever prom night, which also happens to be the last hahaha.

was kind of nervous though, cause I didn't know what to expect.
but glad that everything went well.

met jiahong and teckyan @ city hall and walked to marina mandarin hotel hahahaha.
then waited for people to start coming in.
OH WE SAW VIVI POWERSQUARED first hahaha omg I really didn't recognise her when I saw her. pleasant surprise hahaha.
then people started coming in and guess what.. PHOTOTAKING SESSION hahahaha.

and yup.
It was pretty alright I guess.
For me, I just wanted to be have fun. hahaha. and so I did (:
no awkward moments, no nothing (:

the food was a little too little (HAHAHA), but the performances were good, esp. GUITAR CLUB ROCK BAND hahahahahaha. (: and I didn't go home empty handed cause I got $10 worth of capital-land vouchers mwahahahaha
and the plan to book a hotel room fell through cause I'm such a bad organiser (sigh)
but anyway, after prom, (and photo-taking session that followed after that), we headed out to the 24/7 starbucks at MBS HAHAHA.
but, it turns out that THERE IS NO 24/7 STARBUCKS @ MBS (thanks to our very own dr goh haha) so we had to walk back to cityhall/rafflesplace (can't remmeber) for starbucks.
but of course we sat down in front of mbs for a while and just talked. (:
haha alot of crap lah. (:

(sigh its 4.30am and my head is starting to feel light lol)

I remember us talking about the PSC essay about radical ideas and etc hahahaha.
and tiong ann's shoe falling apart hahaha (why does it always have to be him!) and him staying for a while more and defying his parents' orders hahahaha.
vivi walking barefooted ,and her nonsense fantasies -_-, and again, the night breeze hahaha.
and us disturbing that couple at the statues, and the 2 japanese/korean girls wo walked past us.

It was just special I guess.
At that moment I was thinking to myself, "isn't this moment supposed to be those type of special moments in the movies when we are supposed to feel special?"
But all I saw was just everyone acting normally just smiling, and it was there and then when I came to my own conclusion that we don't have to feel special during moments. The thing about them that makes them special, is that they make us smile when we look back, and I guess this moment is special cause I'm smiling now haha. (I guess every moment can be special then.)

anyway, we walked to the starbucks, and slacked and talked for a while, and soon after that most of the peeps took a taxi and left.
Well, Zuhair, Dylan, Hanren and I stayed behind and we continued talking.
A bunch of VJC people came to the starbucks after their post-prom and they were freaking annoying.
but we out-sat them anyway hahahaha.
A second group of VJC students came along and that was when I saw lishi (haha hello!) with her friends.

but anyway, the 4 of us just talked until day broke.
haha we talk more than girls leh really. one topic just led to another and we didn't stop.
it was only a few hours, but I enjoyed it haha.
well surprisingly we didnt gossip :O hahahahahah.

and I remember the man outside with the tatoos AHHAHAHA.

and yep.
we made sure we outsat the second group of VJC students as well hahahahahaha.
okay we very kiasu hahahahaha.
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so after prom and 'post-prom', I went home.
It was 8am when i reached home (when I promised to be home at 6/7 lol)
but nvm hahaha I slept and woke up at 12pm+.

was so damned tired but had job interview with camp high achievers.
got the job from corrine (haha hello if you're reading this) and had a 2-3 hour session with themwhich starts at 2.
luckily my dad came home and voluteered to fetch me there.
if not I cfm + chop late. hahaha. but I took some time to find the building sigh.

anyway, the session included a briefing etc and the person was observing us I swear.
and alot of RJ/HCI kids were there as well haha!
corrine and I stared at each other when we heard all of them were from top schools hahaha.

anyway, we filled in some forms, were done after 2 hours or so.

went down to meet titus, jia jun, zhengfeng, and zhida for lan.
they went for sushi buffet before that but i coudn't join them (WALAO) and zeke only joined them for the buffet but not the LAN s didn't get to see them )':
but anyway they called jienhsiu for the LAN I was so glad to see him.
havn't seen that guy for 2 years or so as well hahaha.

and I felt more confident with the games than before though.
IDK WHY. hahahaha.

after that, hanged out around amk hub for a while to decide what to do next haha.

and yup we went for pool and it was fun hahaha I managed a few good shots along the way :P
titus had to leave first, so we continued, and then went for 'dinner' (supper actually; it was quite late already)  but I havnt had lunch/dinner so yeahhhh I was hungry like a idkwhat hahahaha.
and we talked about our sec 2 classmates and the many stupid stuff that happened back then.
hahahaha.

walked jj home first (lol always walk him home from amk hub hahahaha) and discussed some stuff (OH SHIT THIS REMINDS ME  SUPPOSED TO JIO HIM OUT hahahahaha)
and went home and #KO-ed cause I didn't have decent sleeppppppppp.
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(yeah I need decent sleep now actually. its 5.08 am already hahahaha)

met up with cherp on the 12th for a quick lunch and catching up session.
I was jumping for joy when I saw that guy (': hahahaha havn't talked to him for so long (':

anyway, gossiped a little and talked about ns.
haha he taught me a little about how things are inside since he has already enlisted.

and yup, went down to bbhq to hand in kayaking forms but ms koh wasn't there hahaha.
so yup went back home and that concluded the day.
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13th and 14th was spent with camp high achievers training camp.

well, I discovered some stuff that was pretty fucked up (at least, screwed up to a person like me who has been so idealistic about the world outside) which I should keep to myself.

anyway, made a new friend, called MUSTAFA hahahahahaha (and yes he's mixed malay-chinese just like abdullah)

Not sure of I should take up camps, since the pay is well, less than satisfactory but I still signed up for it anyway. The person hasn't sent any email to me so I'm hoping for the best :X

don't have any job offers yet anyway so I guess I'll make do with this first.
and its part-time so I shouldn't expect much.
I'm going there for the kids, not for anyone else, or anything else. haha. (lol makes me sound pedophillic -_-)

but the camp was good I guess.
kaayaing, rafting, rock wall climbing, abseiing, ziplining/flyingfox, high elements, low elements, all in 2d1n! hahaha quite shiok.
and the camp returned my tan hahahahah.

But I was scared of abseiling and high elements.
kept swearing when I was up there.
gotta learn to control hahahaha.
if not army will be worse lol.

so dead tired when I reached home haha.
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and yup.
Yesterday, went down to get my lappy fixed (finally) and i'm only going to get it back after 3-5 working days (sgh) so I gotta make do with my dad's lappy, which is newer but slower o.o
then went Christmas shopping for a few people (actually only 3 (: should I buy gifts for more people?) and went down to bbhq to meet ms koh to submit the kayaking forms and have dinner.
Daryl, JZ, and Bokchong joined us ((:

The dinner was definitely enjoyable, though service was crappy to the extent that it was funny.
amd ms koh treated us all (': so nice of her. gonna treat her back one day mwahahah.

talked for quite a while, and I was sort of happy and sad after all the talking..
sad with the state of things, but sort of happy that I'm not the only one feeling that way.
and of course, the people there were all funny people hahahaha.

hope to hang out more with them ((:

and yeah lah I know I very fierce )':
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k anyway, here's what I'll be doing the next few weeks!
making my schedule public hahaha

clearing my room later!
k lah given the amount of stuff I have left actually should be done by tomorrow If I don't procasinate again.

December 2011
19th - meeting up with JJ and sabu! (((:
21st - meeting up with 82 gang! JJ, Leona and Bridget Ang!
22nd - Rehearsal @  church (happens to be my birthday heh)
24/25th - Christmas Performance @ Church
29th to 30th  - Impromptu Trip to Genting with my family! We havn't been out on a holiday together for like 6 years ((:

January 2012
5th - cousin's wedding. havn't attended one in ages
7, 14, 15th - Kayaing Star 2 course
and I'll start doing camps in January so will be busy ):

hoping for
countdown with someone? anyone? (:
kayaking trip with peeps/class? :D (k lah organising in progress -_-)
class outing!
night cycling again!!!
start exercising -_-

(k shit I might not get my lappy back this year)

and I need a pair of shades oh no where am I gonna buy them!!!
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anyway, I've fallen in love with this instrumental.
such a powerful song.


been spamming it so it starts losing its meaning hahaha.
but yup its really nice (:
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and recently I've been trying to make up with people I've fallen out with.
and hopefully I'll be able to put aside my pride and say sorry to them, even if its not my fault.

oh well wish me luck haha.
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Its 5.39am already -_- #ohgawd

and I realised that I wrote a lot of details for the stuff that happened weeks ago.
hmm long time since I blogged like that hahaha.

feeling so dead now hahahaha.
throat feels horrible ):
lesson learnt: never to procasinate blogging (:
(in fact, I should never have procasinated anything at all, except for procasination itself haha)

k gonna turn in.

will update when stuff starts happening (:

You Don’t Need To Say Anything

There was a time when receiving even the most insignificant message from you would have been simply incredible — when it would have told me that, no matter what was happening, I still crossed your mind. Because as we all know, silence is the most brutal statement one can make. Screaming about how much you hated me or telling me I was ugly, well, it would have been tolerable. Hate and love are two sides of the same coin; the true opposite of love is apathy. And if you had screamed, I would have known that regardless of how hard you tried to convey your disdain for me, I still meant enough to you to write a few words, to make your sentiments known. But you remained silent, and so I shut up as well.

I have lost people in my life before — I have a choice soul or two with whom I can no longer speak. Even acknowledging their existence, or confronting them with mine, would be just too ugly and pour salt into too many wounds. There are bridges I have burned out of necessity. Yours was simply abandoned, left untended for years until weeds grew through it and the railing fell apart and it became something you might take a black-and-white picture of, but you could never cross again. It was unsafe, destroyed by neglect. And that hurt more — to see something just erode into oblivion is so much more brutal than to cover it with gasoline and to toss a match on it. I wanted fireworks, to go out with a bang. I guess that’s human nature.

And the time that we didn’t speak went from a simple act of convenience into a border which could no longer be crossed. There is an invisible moment in time, a line of sorts, that you traverse at a certain point in a mutual silence. It is the time when, from then on, starting a conversation would be awkward and jagged and require an embarrassed explanation of why you haven’t spoken in so long. We crossed that point a long time ago, whether I wanted to or not, and I knew that going back would be fruitless. Acknowledging each other was over, and it was time to accept the quiet death of a friendship that had taken place.

Of course, I still hoped that you would reach out. One day you would extend your hand and say that you were sorry, that things were okay, that we don’t need to keep this uncomfortable distance. You would tell me that we were being immature, that life is too short, and many other cliches that we could nod in agreement on. I waited for it consciously, then without thinking of it, and eventually I wasn’t waiting at all. My life began to continue, and your peripheral existence didn’t factor in. I was happy without it, and the fact that you weren’t a part of everything was no longer a tangible hole needing to be filled.

Every day became more and more about what was good, enjoyed fully without a nagging sense of “if only I could share it with this person.” I made new friends, and strengthened ties with old ones. I no longer thought about our silence, about our depressing ending, about the fact that we’d never again stay up all night watching internet videos and drinking beer. It was simply a chapter in my life that had closed, and the ending seemed appropriate. We can’t appreciate or understand the endings of things when they’re happening, of course, but with a little distance they usually parse themselves out. We were right to go our separate ways, and I know we’re both the better for it — even if we can’t pinpoint exactly why.

So there’s no need to apologize, to come and say something, to awkwardly jump-start a conversation that goes nowhere in a matter of minutes. There’s no need to acknowledge what happened, or talk about the things we would have done differently. Our lives are filled with things we could have done better, but I know you well enough to know that just because things end on a bad note doesn’t mean all the wonderful music before was worthless. I won’t let the ugly end color my memories of you. But we are no longer the same people, and there’s no reason to force a false friendship because of some misplaced sense of nostalgia.

It’s the holidays, and we are remembering the people we left behind. But sometimes remembering is enough. You’re surrounded by your loved ones, and I with mine, and there’s no need to toast because the season tells us we should. We’re all okay, and there are so many exciting things in front of us — let’s let that be enough.