Lead, Excel, Overcome.

Interesting week this has been.

Early book in on monday night for guard duty on tuesday.
Not that bad - the SGTs we got were nice, though the duty SGT was annoying at times.

prowled ladang camp with weijie.
and we just talked.
science, religion, relationships, mistakes from the past, everything under the sun.
haha well i'm really glad I did duty with him. (:

walkie-talkie language is interesting. haha.

There was a thunder storm halfway when we were prowling ladang during our second shift.
AND IT WAS FUCKING SCARY.
loudest thunder strike I ever heard.
and I was like FUCK WE'RE GONNA DIE.
but it was memorable cause we kept talking and talking without stopping - people we both know, nature, and lots of other things.

and I learnt some stuff from him I guess.
like how it is common to get cocky once in a while (always unhappy with myself because of that); it is not alright, but we shouldn't put ourselves down because of it. Instead, we should constantly check ourselves.

Night Duty was Sentry (I got Apache Gate with Weijie for first midnight shift and a Perm Staff for second midnight shift)
Didn't manage to get any sleep during breaks (was busy doing peer appraisal which was homework HAHAHA)
but it was alright cause I didn't feel sleepy. haha.

Anyway, the SGT I got for Sentry was very nice.
He asked me to sleep even though I wasn't tired cause he knew that I had training later and needed.
Didn't sleep though - talked to him until 0530 when we left for Guardhouse.

shall keep the stuff he told me secret (INTERNET IS OPEN HAHA SUCKERS)
All I can say is that it'll be a new adventure wherever I'm posted to after BMT.

Thursday went past quick - sleepy + cranky cause of lack of sleep.
But everyone was so sweet.
HAHA Dylan Khoo was the sweetest (awwwwwwwwwwww) He bought strepsils for me! ((: (sweet... get it? HAHA)
Platoon, Company and Individual Photoshoot.
I really love Platoon 3 (:
Disfucntionally functional (:

Today was fast as well.

PT in the morning, and it was bookout to Singapore Discovery Center!
Army Museum (which was quite interesting and amazing)
Want to go on a overseas peacekeeping/humanitarian aid mission if I have the chance!

Tour to SAFTI as well. (didn't know it was open to the public haha)

To Lead, To Excel, To Overcome.
How can I lead and overcome challenges if I don't excel?
Must make sure I am up there before trying.
Well, OCS is still far from sight, not sure if I can make it anymore.
Kenneth was saying how my confidence is wavering hahaha.
but oh well, fighting spirit, and a little bit more consistency, perserverence, and initiative.

I'm becoming very insensitive towards others - need to start keeping myself in check.

Had dinner with section 4/Platoon 3 peeps @ Carl's Jr.
HAHAHA SHIT gained back all the weight I shed.
but HECK HAHAHAHA.

well, I'm back here at home.
Avengers with Class peeps tmr, and outing with leona Bree and JJ on Sunday.
and book in!

May Batch coming in next week.
and the real challenge starts - PTP ends, and BMT phase starts next week.

Need to start fighting harder, harder HARDER.





keep fighting.

Check-up

can't seem to think of a title for this post.

very tired now.

Well, fast, hectic but long week.

1. First Stand-by-Universe on Thursday cause someone from our sister company Falcon lost his magazine (not 8-days etc, but a weapon part) and they had to search the entire cluster for it (and still not found)

Well, God bless him. lol.

2. Road March this week!
It was good! Morale was high, everyone was keeping good pace.
Well, I must admit that it was mostly due to CPT Fong leading the platoon in cadence.
Not a guardsman for nothing. He made us echo and sing whatever he sang for more than 2km without stopping to think of another song.
That is called professionalism I swear.

Really have to learn how to bring the morale of the team up.
Morale is key. It is like fire when cooking a soup.
Too little, or too much is not good.
But just the right fire will make whatever that stops us, burn to ashes.

3. Current Affairs discussion this week: If you were the pilot, would you have dropped the A-bomb on Japan?

First thing that came to my mind - Yes.
I was so convinced at first that it was a necessary evil to drop the bomb.
I would have dropped the bomb. As many times needed to end the war.

They deserved it. They are a evil nation who wanted to gain at the expense of others.
And whoever is part of that nation shall die.

But no.

We are supposed to fight for people who cannot protect themselves.
yes - civilians; those on the enemy's side as well.
What makes the lives of people in my country more important than the lives of people in other countries?

But what about those who were killed and raped and destroyed by the Japs?
were they not innocent?
The Japs deserved it.
Yes, they are civillians, but everyone knows there are consequences; positives and negative ones, for every decision one makes.
Since they benefited from the war, the civilians should go down with the war as well.
Blast them, blast them all.

And then, I thought of everyone I loved getting blasted by the A-bomb.

fuck.

they didn't have a choice - it was the leaders who made the mistakes, not them.

In the end, I still submitted the assignment saying 'yes, I'll drop the bomb."
But this is a question worth thinking about.

What happened to caring for everyone, what happened to the universal brotherhood I believed in?
What happened to the humility I've always believed everyone should have?

need to check myself.

4. the PFTs says that I have very bad posture.
Realised it now.
need to correct it.

5. chanced upon the midshipmen course on cyber-pioneer. its essentially ocs for the navy)
Interesting and cool. haha. AND I SAW FERRON in the videos! Its really damn cool.

Had PC interview last night, talked to PC.
well, I'm really far from what I want.

its how badly I want it, how much i am willing to work hard for it.

I'm fighting for what I want, which is good.
But, I got to fight harder.

need some time alone to myself.
don't feel like talking to anyone, or going out.

dropped out from guitar performance, declined to go out with friends. (while I can't make it for the ones I really wanna see)
well, hope I can get things sorted out soon.

6. Have guard duty on Labour Day.
Well, actually not my guard duty, but covering for someone haha.
anyway, if you are reading this, you better have a good day out alright! (:

7. stop snacking.

8. short week ahead!
hope it'll pass by fast.
BMT is starting to get more fun.
and more stressful.

need to keep my mental state of mind in check.

9. really sleepy.
will sleep now. (2259 already. usually light out 20mins before now)

10. long weekend ahead (well, longer than usual i suppose)
Will restock on supplies and music (:

11. Well, havn't thought of a title, so sha-
okay wait, have a title already (:

bye.

Let me back in.

Have you ever felt like beauty was right in front of you, and you start to lose grip of it.

"we partake in each other's success and failure"

Nothing much this week, just that... (Starts importing stuff from learnet reflections)

1. first 5 day week in a long time. so it has been a pretty long week.

 2. First turnout for the company this week. Well, its supposed to be punishment, but I found it quite funny and was laughing and smiling to myself about it hahaha. Remembering doing it with the others and on my Boys and it was actually great fun. #saddist not that the turnout was shit or what (if it were real shit I wouldn't be laugh about it anymore), but I guess many will agree that it is stuff like this that we remember the most haha.

3. Current Affairs this week was intersting. "Should war exist?" Well, it really got me thinking. and wrote quite a bit on leanet for it :P

4. Cut timing for 2.4km to 11.33, target to cut another min by next ippt.

5. broke zero for pull ups on the day after ippt. was quite happy, but I sort of discovered its only the start. (start of a long journey lol) (8 more to go!)

6. I really have much to learn. Need to start using my 'common sense' (which isn't very common in the army)

7. NUS interview was both alright I guess. The professors were very friendly, and it was just a brief chit chat session to learn more about us. But I guess I was over-enthusiastic HAHAHA. (which might be both good and bad) and they asked me a physical geog question on earthquakes which I'm not sure if I answered correctly (oh gawd) (didn't think of the recent tsunami warnings as well ):) And they asked about my chinese grades (which i didn't realise and said 'not very sure why' and only realised it 2 hours after the interview SHIT) but oh well its over and I think I did fairly well haha.

8. Guitar Performance next week. Quite nervous about it ): no time to practice. need to startttt.

 9. 4 day break after this week! gogogo! (: Looking forward to the next week!

Ready to Strike.

This song makes me so happy. (:

 Its been a long week in camp, especially since its right after the long weekend.

Anyway, 2 road marches (3km) in a week, PT and more PT and screwing up far too many times this week.
But my section and Platoon mates are there to help me, so I guess I'm alright.

Well, feel damn bad about blowing my top again this week.
It was me over-reacting, and I should stop getting so defensive.
Well, it takes time I suppose.

On the other hand, NUS Undergrad Scholarships offered me an interview.
Not much time to prepare, so I'll just have to show them who I am.
If they like me, I'll be happy. If they don't, then its their loss.
___________________________________________________________________________
I really have to up my game.
screwed up too many times, let go of too many opportunities.

There are too many things that I want.
I'll have to start fighting for them; I have to show that I deserve all I get.

I really hate fighting, cause with someone's victory comes another's loss, and I hate to be the one who loses, and I don't want anyone else to feel sad either.

But I guess I have to start looking beyond that.

Cause within every struggle, within every fight, there is courage; there is sacrifice.
and these are what make people great.

I'll have to start learning and start to fight and struggle.

I fucking want it, and I will fight for what I want.

and maybe at the end of the fight, there is sportsmanship; there is brotherhood.
and maybe even if we lose, we found a greater feeling than winning itself.

It'll be hard, but it'll be worth it.
so don't you dare let yourself down time and time again and tell yourself 'its alright', cause its not.
there's only that one chance there and then, and you better do what is right; what is honorable; and do what is you best.

I'll look forward to the fight.