Its not that I don't have anything to say or share, but rather, I got confused, and I got lost, and I didn't know how to sort out the mess in my head.
I guess making myself sit down and write is still the best way to think through things.
I have little patience for writing now.
I remember how I used to be able to write for hours when I just started blogging, but for me to churn out a paragraph now.. it really is difficult.
Maybe it is because I used to write without thinking. Maybe I've learnt the importance to put more effort in the thinking process before I write.
Maybe I am too preoccupied with all the things in my life. Maybe I've become too impatient for my own good.
It doesn't matter. Either way, I've changed, and I think what is important is to acknowledge the change and keep myself in check.
Started reading a little philosophy (even though I promised myself never to do so) and I must say it is interesting (and very confusing).
It did help put a few things into perspective.
Things are rarely that simple.
Everything can be a force for both good and evil. Even lying. (makes me wonder why I was so irrational and dogmatic about not lying in the past)
Been thinking a little about random things recently as well, and I'm quite happy to say that I've solved this one question that has been bugging me ever since I was young.
"Who was the first human?"
Yup. This question had been bugging me since I was young.
But reading and thinking a little about evolution helped me solve the question.
The answer is simple. There is no answer to the question, cause the question doesn't make sense.
One of Darwin's 'axioms' for the Theory of Evolution, was that the smallest unit of evolution is a population - not an individual.
So, the question "Who were the first humans" would make sense.
(kind of stupid, but yeah I'm slow at catching subtleties like this)
Opened my mind to the importance of asking the RIGHT questions.
A short update on my life too.
Caught the NDP preview with Tiong Ann and Ming Xuan. (Where we met Aaron Lam by chance haha)
Thank you Tiong Ann! Had a great time that day.
Next big thing was Penang Trip with Tiong Ann and Martin.
Had a good time, and opened my eyes a little (:
Will blog more when the photographs come. (if I have the time)
Other than that, preparation of Ex. Wallaby, my unproductive attempts to master linear algebra, and dealing with SAF logic (or rather, non-logic).
So angry about so many things which I am helpless about just because I don't have the rank and influence to change anything.
Really difficult to display leadership without a chance at commandership.
I thought I could do something. Maybe I could stay motivated so that others will be motivated. Or try and help cover for people.
I wanted to make a positive difference. I was sincere.
but they made use of me.
I give up on the organisation.
Not gonna waste it on people who aren't going to appreciate.
"Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much of life. So aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something."
- Henry David Thoreau
(this post took me 4 hours to write. so difficult to find the right words.)
No comments:
Post a Comment